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   AWA Essay Guide
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spacer left_arrow Chapter 1: AWA Introduction
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spacer left_arrow Chapter 2: Analysis of Argument
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spacer left_arrow Chapter 3: About the E-Rater
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spacer active_arrow Chapter 4: Improving Your Writing
    4a: Writing Style
spacer4a(1): Fill Sentences
spacer4a(2): Be concise
spacer4a(3): Qualification
spacera4a(4): Start Strong
spacerz4a(5): Active Voice
spacerz4a(6): Self-Reference
spacerz4a(7): Redundancy
spacerz4a(8): Vague
spacerz4a(9): Cliche
spacerz4a(10): Jargon
z4b: Grammar Rules
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spacer left_arrow Chapter 5: Real Essay Questions
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spacer left_arrow 10 Most Common Errors
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Chapter 4 - Section 4a(8): Vague Writing
 
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Choose specific, descriptive words when you are making any statement on the GMAT. Vague language weakens your writing because it forces the reader to guess what you mean instead of concentrating fully on your ideas and style.

WEAK: Mr. Brown is highly educated.
FORCEFUL: Mr. Brown has a master's degree in business administration.

WEAK: She is a great communicator.
FORCEFUL: She speaks persuasively.

Notice that sometimes to be more specific and concrete, you will have to use more words than you may otherwise with vague language (as in the first example). This principle is not in conflict with the general objective of writing concisely. Being concise may mean eliminating unnecessary words. Avoiding vagueness may mean adding necessary words to illustrate your point.

Edit these sentences by reducing the vague language:

1. The principal told John that he should not even think about coming back to school until he changed his ways.



2. The police detective had to seek the permission of the lawyer to question the suspect.


3. Thousands of species of animals were destroyed when the last ice age occurred.

 

4. The secretary was unable to complete the task that had been assigned.

 







Answers

1. The principal told John that he could not return to school until his behavior improved.

2. The police detective had to ask the lawyer for permission to question the suspect.

3. Thousands of animal species were destroyed in the last ice age.

4. The secretary was unable to type the document.

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 Chapter 4a(9): Cliche