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Chapter 1: AWA Introduction



The Analytical Writing Assessment (AWA) consists of two 30-minute sections, the Analysis of Issue essay and the Analysis of Argument essay. You will receive a grade from 1 to 6 on each and these will be sent with your GMAT scores.

Both a human grader and an "E-rater," a computerized grading program will grade your essays. If the graders disagree, your essays will be sent to a third human grader. Not writing your essay in the proper format for the E-rater, could lead to a lower score. Throughout the guidebook we provide tips on the E-rater and a section exclusively about the E-rater.

The good news is that the AWA can be beaten. The essay topics are available for you to review beforehand. The structures for the AWA answers are simple and may be learned. In addition, while much GMAT preparation may appear "useless" and without any merit beyond test day, the skills, reasoning tools, and techniques you learn for the AWA may be applied to any essay or persuasive writing. These skills will help you throughout business school and beyond.

800score has graded thousands of essays from GMAT candidates and we have an unparalleled knowledge of where students go wrong.

Here are some tips before we get started:

  • Grammar and spelling is, by and large, less important than structure and content. Focus on structure and the formation of your argument.

  • The E-rater's main impact is to put more value on highly structured writing and the use of "key" words and phrases that it recognizes.

  • Take many timed practice tests on a computer. Our sample essays on the site are designed for you to take timed practice essays and be evaluated.

  • Do not procrastinate preparing for the AWA. Students tend to put off the AWA until it is too late and then they cannot adequately prepare.


Chapter 2 - Section 1: Analysis of Issue

The Analysis of Issue question asks you to discuss your opinion on an issue. You will need to write a well-balanced analysis of the issue presented by the test.

The most common topics relate to general business and public policy issues. Business issues include business ethics, marketing and labor. Government issues include regulatory and social welfare issues.

 
  • Here is an example of an Analysis of Issue question:

    The desire of corporations to maximize profits creates conflict with the general welfare of the nation at large.

    Discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the opinion stated above. Support your views with reasons and/or examples from your own experience, observations or reading.

    Typical Analysis of Issue topic may be something like:
  • Does lowering tax rates increase economic growth?
  • Should countries sacrifice civil liberties for safety?
  • Should countries limit free trade to protect their industries?

A question stem might look like this:

In many countries, including the USA, the postal service is a quasi-governmental organization whose primary mission is to deliver mail to individuals within the borders of the country. Since, it is argued, mail delivery to rural addresses where the population is sparse cannot be done economically under any acceptable circumstance; the postal service is given a monopoly on mail delivery. Actually, however, mail delivery could be done economically by private corporations as long as each corporation were given a monopoly to service any given area where sparsely populated areas were balanced against densely populated areas.

Discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the opinion stated above. Support your views with reasons and/or examples from your own experience, observations or reading.


They say: Explain how logically persuasive you find this argument. Analyze the argument's line of reasoning and use of evidence.

Translation: Critique the argument. Discuss whether or not you think it's convincing and explain why.

Evaluate the Argument

Pick out flaws in the argument by identifying its weaknesses:

  • What is the argument's conclusion?
  • What is the basis of the author's conclusion?
  • Do you find the argument persuasive? What makes it persuasive or not persuasive?
  • What could be done to strengthen the argument?
  • What assumptions does the argument rely upon? (there should be several)

SAMPLE OUTLINE

In the above issue for analysis, the proposition is contained in the last sentence of the stimulus; therefore, the analysis of the issue must focus on this sentence. They are trying to argue for the privatization of the postal system. Here is an outline of the basic points we will make to refute their argument.

I. The proposition regarding the privatization of the post office is based on two questionable assumptions and is most likely not true:

A. The population in the USA is distributed in such a way that postal market areas can be divided and costly market areas can be balanced against lucrative market areas.
B. Private corporations are more cost effective than quasi-governmental organizations.

II. Postal markets cannot be distributed in such a way that service to any given market is economical:

A. reason for the distribution of population
B. effect of that distribution on geographically contiguous areas
C. effect of that distribution on geographically non-contiguous areas

III. Private corporations are not necessarily more cost efficient than quasi-governmental corporations.

A. case of defense contractors
B. case of private corporations

IV. The case for the privatization of the post office department is based on questionable assumptions.

SAMPLE ESSAY

Based on the outline, here is a sample essay:

The idea that the post office department can be privatized is based on two questionable assumptions: First, it can be shown that the population in the USA is not distributed in a way that balances costly market areas against lucrative market areas. Second, it can be shown that private corporations are not necessarily more cost effective than quasi-governmental organizations. It is, therefore, most likely that privatization of the post office department cannot be accomplished.

In the first place, because of mechanization, one worker on the farm can support at least three hundred people living in the city. Large combines with relatively small crews can roll across the prairies, harvesting 500 tons of wheat in a day, enough to feed hundreds of people for a year. As a result, employment in rural areas has declined and, as a further result, people have left the rural areas for life in the city, creating the contemporary dilemma for postal planners. It is easy to distribute tons of mail to big city dwellers in high rise buildings at a reasonable cost. But finding a cost effective way to deliver a single first class letter twenty miles down a country road in a snowstorm in January is nearly impossible. Therefore, postal markets cannot be economically distributed to enable service to any given market for contiguous geographical markets.

Perhaps the answer lies in distributing the cost of mail delivery by balancing a cost intensive market area such as rural up-state New York with a lucrative market area such as New York City. On examination, however, this turns out to be an impossibility because the population simply is not distributed in neatly balanced areas for reasons noted in the preceding paragraph. Albany, New York, probably has a greater population than the entire state of Wyoming. Is a single company going to be given Wyoming and Albany as a single market area? If so, that company will not be able to service the area economically because the costs of doing business over such a long distance are extremely high. The current post office department, in effect, already does this and has found it to be not economical. Clearly, it is also true that postal markets cannot be distributed using noncontiguous geographical markets in a way, so that service to any given market is economical.

Furthermore, not all private corporations are economical. The federal government has always subsidized defense contractors, rewarding them for their inefficiencies with huge cost over-runs. Moreover, any number of large private corporations have gone bankrupt, including Continental Airlines and Pan American Airways. Would any social planner want postal delivery discontinued to any area because a large, privatized postal company declared bankruptcy?

The argument that the post office department can be privatized is based on two questionable assumptions. It is therefore most likely that this argument is invalid (1) because populations are not distributed in such a way that large, regional post offices could be run economically, and (2) because private corporations are not necessarily cost efficient and economical. For these reasons, privatization does not appear to be an effective means of reforming our postal system.

Notice that this essay states two assumptions and then spends three paragraphs elaborating on the two main assumptions. The overall structure is tight (perhaps a few sentences could have been edited and paragraphs 2 and 3 condensed into one paragraph). Either way, this is a 5 or 6 essay.

One element here is that the problems with the stimulus are strictly assumptions: an assumption about the economics of running a post office and an assumption of the private sector's superiority over the public sector.



Chapter 2 - Section 2a. Analysis of Issue: Content

 

Graders of the Analysis of Issue essay expect an essay that:

  1. Is well developed, logical and coherent;
  2. Demonstrates critical thinking skills;
  3. Uses varied sentence structure and vocabulary;
  4. Uses standard written English and follows the language’s conventions;
  5. Is free of mechanical errors in spelling, punctuation, capitalization.

How do I write a well-balanced essay?

Acknowledge both sides of the issue to show that you understand it fully. At the same time, you must pick a side and persuade the reader that, despite the counter-arguments, your position is, overall, the strongest one.

Show the reader that you see both sides of the issue by occasionally using qualifiers (we discuss this later in chapter 5) when describing each side. This will allow you to acknowledge the opposing view and appear scholarly. (Note that overuse of qualifiers will make the essay appear vague and dilute your argument.)

Be as politically correct as possible in your essay. As you can never predict who will read your essay, avoid gambling with highly charged writing. Stick to uncontroversial ideas and opinions. Doing so ensures that your reader will not be able to disagree with you and potentially score you accordingly. An extreme or forceful essay may also confuse the E-rater, since your essay will not resemble any essays it has stored in its database. Nevertheless, you must take a stand. Pick the side you feel most comfortable arguing and make your opinion clear throughout the essay.

Note: Do not write an unsubstantiated opinion. Write an argument that consists of your thesis and logical arguments to support it.

Because your essay will be short (you have only 30 minutes), you won't be able to cover every possible argument, rebuttal and example. At the beginning of your time, set aside a few minutes to outline your essay and choose your examples. You do not have to cover every idea/concept. Choose the most persuasive points and relevant examples. The GMAT graders do not expect you to go in-depth on every topic.

The most important concern is that you do not stray from the topic and your argument. Try not to focus too much on any one example or write any tangential arguments, as either will undermine the communication of your main argument to the reader.


Where should I get examples?


The AWA tests analytical writing, not specific subject knowledge, so don’t worry too much about impressing the grader with detailed knowledge in any one area. What’s more important is that you show that you can effectively argue a point using intelligent examples. Your supporting evidence may be drawn from personal experience, academic knowledge, current events, and/or history. Try to limit your use of personal experience unless it is very compelling, relevant and effective.


Where do I get ideas for essay issues?


Coming up with ideas is generally easier for students who have taken government policy analysis courses. This section favors the student who flips to the editorial page of the Wall St. Journal. To get comfortable with public policy issues, try reading The Wall Street Journal, The Nation, or The Economist regularly before the test.

International Students: Read these American magazines as much as possible to see how Americans structure their writing and to stay updated on issues.

 
Write with your grader in mind

When you write your Issue essay, remember that you are fundamentally writing your essay to please your grader.

Keep it concise

Put yourself in the position of a grader. They grade essays all day. Wouldn't you favor a concise and effective essay with five paragraphs of four sentences each over a 4 paragraph rambling essay with ten sentences in each paragraph? Keep the essays crisp, concise, and well structured. This is particularly important on the Analysis of Issue question, where your essay expresses personal opinions.



Chapter 2 - Section 2b. Analysis of Issue: Timing


Time Breakdown: How to write a coherent 300 word essay in 30 minutes or less.

 
Step 1. Examine the issue (3-4 minutes)

a. What is the basic issue? Try to phrase it as a question.

b. Those in favor would say___________________.

c. Those against would say___________________.


 
Step 2. Choose what points you want to make (4-5 minutes)

a. Arguments in favor:

b. Arguments opposed:

c. Take a side: which side do you prefer?

d. Write a thesis statement.

 

 
Step 3. Outline (about 1 minute)

1. Make sure that your outline:
  • states the central idea of the essay clearly and forcefully.
  • provides a word or phrase for every paragraph in the essay.
  • relates each paragraph to the central idea of the essay in (2a) above.
  • includes both an opening and a closing paragraph that tie the essay together.


2. Build your paragraphs in the essay carefully.
    Following these few simple rules will help you produce effective writing on analyzing an issue:
  • Use topic sentences that not only sum up the idea of the paragraph, but also relate to the main argument of the essay.
  • Every statement in each paragraph should relate to the central idea of the paragraph in (3a) above. In each paragraph, use examples to support the central idea or explain it completely.
  • Consciously choose paragraph length. If your paragraphs are all too short (one or two sentences), you will be penalized. If they are too long, you will also be penalized.

 

 
Step 4: Write/type your essay (18-20 minutes)
  • What's your thesis sentence?
  • Arguments for…
  • Arguments opposed...

 

 
Step 5: Proofread your work (2-3 minutes)
  • Check for grammar, spelling, etc.




Chapter 2 - Section 2c. Analysis of Issue: Structure

Structure is the most important part of your essay. Your essay must be written in a standard format with the standard logical transitions. The E-rater will scan your essay to identify whether it has a standard structure.

  • Introduction and conclusion – These sections function as bookends to your essay, providing the most basic and crucial points of your essay. The rest of your essay will relate back to your intro. Your conclusion will reiterate these ideas.
    BookEnds Image
  • Number of Paragraphs - To satisfy the E-rater, your essay should be four to five paragraphs, two of which will be your introduction and conclusion. In addition your essay will include two to three "body" paragraphs. Each paragraph should have two to five sentences (total essay about 300-400 words).

    Note: You should skip a line between paragraphs since the TAB key does not function in the essay section.
Essay Template

The template is just a guideline. You do not have to adhere to it. Often you will have to make changes to it to suit your argument.
  • The numbers of sentences indicated for each paragraph is a guideline that varies depending on how much content you have.
  • The transitional phrases we use in the Template are intentionally simplistic. This is not a simple approach where you can "fill-in-the-blanks." Flesh out the template and use it as a guideline to write a disciplined and focused essay.

Template


1) Introductory Paragraph (2-4 sentences)

Keep your introductory paragraph concise, strong and effective.

What the introductory paragraph should accomplish:
  • Explain the issue (briefly).
  • Show that you understand the full complexities of the issue (for example, by recognizing competing interests, various factors or key assumptions made).
  • State your position on the issue (without the details yet).
 
Sample template for introductory paragraph (2 sentences):

a) Whether ___________________ depends on ___________________.


b) (insert your opinion), ___________________.



2) First Body Paragraph (3-5 sentences)

 
Develop your position using your most important evidence. Use one or two examples to back up your main point:

a) The chief reason for my view is ___________________.

b) For example, ___________________.

c) Moreover, ___________________.

d) Finally, ___________________.



3) Second Body Paragraph

Expand your position with a "secondary" reason. Support your rationale further with at least one example.

State your second reason (one only).

Provide rationale and/or evidence to support it.

 

Here's a sample template for the second body paragraph that accomplishes these objectives:

a) Another reason for my view is ___________________.

b) Specifically, ___________________.

c) The result is, ___________________.

d) In addition to _[first evidence]__ , __[new evidence]__ also proves….


4) Optional Third Body Paragraph

In this optional paragraph, you acknowledge a competing viewpoint or counter-argument (and rationale and/or examples that support it), and then provide rebuttals to further support your position. In this paragraph you walk a tightrope, as you must acknowledge the counter-argument, then deny it immediately in the next sentence and use that denial to strengthen your own argument.

  • Acknowledge a different viewpoint or a counter-argument.
  • Provide rationale and/or examples that support it.
  • Provide a rebuttal.
 
Here's a sample template for the third body paragraph that accomplishes the objectives indicated above:

a) Some might argue, ___________________.

b) Yet, ___________________.

c) Others might cite, ___________________.

d) However, ___________________.


5) Conclusion Paragraph

In this paragraph, you write a summary of your position in one to three sentences:

  • State the thrust of your position.
  • Restate the main points from the body of your essay.
  • Broaden your scope and show how your ideas can apply more widely
 
The concluding paragraph is not the place for new information or reasons. It is not a place to draw new conclusions.

a) In sum, I concur that ___________________.

b) However,___________________; on the ___________________.

c) Without _________________, we would not have ___________________

 




Chapter 3 - Section 1: Analysis of Argument

What is an argument?

A strong argument tries to persuade the reader to accept a point of view. When writing an essay, be sure to include the following in your argument:

1. A declarative statement of an idea or opinion.

2. Support for the statement: include relevant facts, opinions based on facts and/or careful reasoning.

When writing an argument, is essential to both make a statement and then provide a foundation of evidence to back up this statement.

What is the Analysis of Argument?

Analysis of Argument questions present a short argument on an issue. You are asked to analyze the argument and discuss how well it is reasoned. You will be looking for flaws in reasoning and weak use of evidence. You will have to consider the assumptions that underlie the writer's thinking and the alternative explanations or counterexamples that might weaken his or her conclusion. It is your job to come up with evidence that would strengthen or refute the argument, or point out the changes that would make it more sound.

 
Here is an example of an Analysis of Argument question:

Toads cause warts. I touched a toad last week and now I have a wart, therefore the toad was responsible.

How would you rate the accuracy of the above statement? Support your position with reasons and examples.

 

How does the Analysis of Argument differ from the Analysis of Issue?

On Analysis of Issue questions, you are arguing grand issues such as, "Should China be in the WTO," or "Should parents have vouchers to send children to the school of their choice". Reasonable people could differ in their opinions with Analysis of Issue, but no reasonable person would absolutely support something in an Analysis of Argument. When you are working on an Analysis of Argument, look for the fallacies that exist in the reasoning as opposed to inserting your personal opinions on the topic.

The people who grade the Analysis of Argument section for the GMAT expect the following:

i) An essay that analyzes several aspects of the argument with critical insight.

ii) A clearly developed and logical essay.

iii) A coherent essay with well-chosen transitions.

iv) An essay that uses varied sentence structure and vocabulary.

v) An essay free of grammatical errors.


One aspect of argumentation that needs special attention is the use of terms. In an argument, all of the terms should be clear and well-defined. If your terms are unclear, then proving your point will be difficult and will weaken your argument. The emotionally-loaded term is such a weak term. Anyone who writes an Analysis of Argument should examine the terms used and be sure to avoid emotive or subjective terms.
To the extent possible, define the terms clearly and objectively.

As with Analysis of Issue, the topic sentence of each paragraph must contain the germ of the idea that permeates the entire paragraph. Each example or illustration must connect to that idea using transitional markers such as for example, furthermore, therefore, thus or moreover.

 


Chapter 3 - Section 3a: Dissecting Arguments

Consider the following example:

Stimulus Toads cause warts. I touched a toad last week and now I have a wart, therefore the toad was responsible.
Question Stem How would you rate the accuracy of the above statement? Support your position with reasons and examples.

The Stimulus

In the first part of the Analysis of Argument topic, the writer tries to persuade you of his or her conclusion by referring to evidence. When you read the "arguments" in these questions, be on the lookout for assumptions and poor logical reasoning used to come to the conclusion.

The Question Stem

Question stems will ask you to decide how convincing you find the argument. You will be asked to explain why an argument is not convincing, and discuss improvements to the argument. For this task, you'll need to first analyze the argument itself and evaluate its use of evidence. Second, you'll need to explain how a different approach or more information would make the argument itself better (or possibly worse).


They say: Explain what, if anything, would make the argument more valid and convincing or help you to better evaluate its conclusion.

Translation: Spot weak links in the argument and offer changes that would strengthen them.

Attack the Argument

Each argument's stimulus has been intentionally "loaded" with flaws or fallacies that you should acknowledge and discuss. If you fail to see the more fundamental problems in the argument, you will not get a high score.

The purpose of the essay is for you to critique the reasoning in the argument. Your personal opinions are not relevant. Instead your essay needs to focus on flaws in the argument, and how the argument could be strengthened.



Chapter 3 - Section 3b: Finding Errors

The Usual Suspects: Common Logical Fallacies

(Much of this content is identical to the Critical Reasoning section).

There are seven logical errors that commonly appear in the essay questions. When writing your essay argument, explicitly identify the logical flaws. These flaws also tend to occur in the critical reasoning section of the Verbal GMAT, so your preparation here will benefit you when taking that section.

1. Circular Reasoning

Here, an unsubstantiated assertion is used to justify another unsubstantiated assertion, which is used to justify the first statement. For instance, Joe and Fred show up at an exclusive club. When asked if they are members, Joe says "I'll vouch for Fred." When Joe is asked for evidence that he's a member, Fred says, "I'll vouch for him."

2. The Fallacy of the Biased-Sample

The Fallacy of the Biased Sample is committed whenever the data for a statistical inference is drawn from a sample that is not representative of the population under consideration. The data used to make a generalization is drawn from a group that does not represent the whole.

The following argument commits the fallacy of the Biased Sample :

ln a recent survey conducted by Wall Street Weekly, 80% of the respondents indicated their strong disapproval of increased capital gains taxes. This survey clearly shows that increased capital gains taxes will meet with strong opposition from the electorate.

The data for the inference in this argument is drawn from a sample that is not representative of the entire electorate. Since the survey was conducted on people who invest, not all members of the electorate have an equal chance of being included in the sample. Moreover, people who read about investing are more likely to have an opinion on the topic of taxes on investments that differs from the opinion of the population at large.


3. Falacy of the Insufficient Sample

The Fallacy of the Insufficient Sample is committed whenever an inadequate sample is used to justify the conclusion drawn.

The following argument commits a fallacy of the Insufficient Sample:

I have worked with three people from New York City and found them to be obnoxious, pushy and rude. It is obvious that people from New York City have a bad attitude.

The data for the inference in this argument are insufficient to support the conclusion. Three observations of three people are not sufficient to support a conclusion about the entire population of a city.

4. Ad hominem

One of the most often-employed fallacies, ad hominen means "to the man" and indicates an attack made on a person rather than on the statements that person has made. An example is: "Don't listen to my opponent, he's a homosexual."

5. Fallacy of Faulty Analogy       

Reasoning by analogy makes an unsubstantiated assumption when comparing two similar things. The fallacy of faulty analogy assumes that since two things are alike in many ways, they will share other traits in common. Faulty Analogy arguments conclude that one similarity results in another, when in fact, there can be no way of inferring this extra similarity.

The following is an example of a fallacy of Faulty Analog:

Ted and Jim excel at both football and basketball. Since Ted is also a track star, Jim likely also excels at track.

In this example, numerous similarities between Ted and Jim are taken as the basis for the inference that they share additional traits.

6. Straw Man

Here, the speaker attributes an argument to an opponent, and that argument does not represent the opponent's true position. For instance, a political candidate might charge that his opponent "wants to let all prisoners go free," when in fact his opponent simply favors a highly limited furlough system. The person is portrayed as someone they are not.

7. The "After This, Therefore, Because of This" Fallacy (Post hoc ergo propter hoc)

This is a "false cause" fallacy in which something is associated with something else because of mere proximity of time. One often encounters, such as - in news stories, people assuming that because one thing happened after another, the first caused it, as with "I touched a toad; I have a wart; the toad caused the wart." The error in the arguments that commit this fallacy is that their conclusions are simply claims and are insufficiently substantiated by the evidence.

Here are two examples of the After This, Therefore Because of This Fallacy:

Ten minutes after walking into the auditorium, I began to feel sick to
my stomach. There must have been something in the air in that building that caused my nausea.

The stock market declined shortly after the election of the president,
thus indicating the lack of confidence the business community has in the new administration.

In the first example, a causal connection is posited between two events simply on the basis of one occurring before the other. Without further evidence to support it, the causal claim based on the correlation is premature.

The second example is typical of modern news reporting. The only evidence offered in this argument to support the implicit causal claim that the decline in the stock market was caused by the election of the president is that the election preceded the decline. While this may have been a causal factor in the decline of the stock market, to argue that it is the main cause without additional information is to commit the After This, Therefore, Because of This Fallacy.


8. The Either-Or Thinking

This is the so-called black-or-white fallacy. Essentially, it says "Either you believe what I'm saying or you must believe exactly the opposite." Here is an example of the black-or-white fallacy:

Since you don't believe that the earth is teetering on the edge of destruction, you must believe that pollution and other adverse effects that man has on the environment are of no concern whatsoever.

The argument above assumes that only two possible alternatives are open to us. There is no room for a middle ground.

9. The "All Things are Equal" Fallacy

This fallacy is committed when background conditions are assumed, without justification, to have remained the same at different times/locations. In most instances, this is an unwarranted assumption for the simple reason that things rarely remain the same over extended periods, and things rarely remain the same from place to place.

The last Democratic Party winner of the New Hampshire primary won the general election. This year, the winner of the New Hampshire primary will win the general election.

The assumption operative in this argument is that nothing has changed since the last primary. No evidence or justification is offered for this assumption.

10. The Fallacy of Equivocation

The Fallacy of Equivocation occurs when a word or phrase with more than one meaning is employed in different meanings throughout the argument.


"Every society is, of course, repressive to some extent. As Sigmund Freud pointed out, repression is the price we pay for civilization." (John P. Roche, political columnist)

In this example, the word repression is used in two completely different contexts. "Repression" in Freud's mind meant restricting sexual and psychological desires. "Repression" in the second context does not mean repression of individual desires, but government restriction of individual liberties, such as in a totalitarian state.

11. Non Sequitur

This means "does not follow," which is short for: the conclusion does not follow from the premise. To say, "The house is white; therefore, it must be big" is an example. It may be a big house but there is no intrinsic connection with its being white.

12. Argument ad populum

A group of kindergartners are studying a frog, trying to determine its sex. "I wonder if it's a boy frog or a girl frog," says one student. "I know how we can tell!" pipes up another. "All right, how?" asks the teacher, resigned to the worst. Beams the child: "We can vote."

This is argumentum ad populum, the belief that truth can be determined by more or less putting it to a vote. Democracy is a very nice thing, but it doesn't determine truth. Polls are good for telling you what people think, not whether those thoughts are correct.


 

Common Student Errors
We've graded essays from thousands of students and we see recurring errors time and time again. The most common error on the Analysis of Argument essay is "Splitting Hairs."

Splitting Hairs refers to trying to dissect errors that do not fall into the categories listed here. Remember that all Analysis of Argument questions have SERIOUS errors. The danger is that you could get distracted on a minor issue and miss the serious errors that the E-rater and the grader want to see.

Here is an example:
A company is cutting unneeded employees to cut costs and boost profitability. Is this a wise strategy?

Splitting Hairs: What if the employees refuse to go? What if the employees are actually volunteers? What if the employees are the company's biggest customers? etc..



Chapter 3 - Section 3c: Template


ESSAY STRUCTURE

As with the Issue essay, there is no single "correct," way to organize an Argument essay. In general, your essay should include an introduction and a conclusion paragraph separated by at least two body paragraphs in which you develop your critique of the stated argument. The template below illustrates this structure in more detail, and each of the sample Analysis of Argument essays we present later follow this basic pattern.

Introductory Paragraph (2-4 sentences)

Try to accomplish three goals in your introductory paragraph:

  • Briefly restate the argument in your own words.
  • Briefly trace the argument's line of reasoning.
  • Indicate the extent to which the argument is logically convincing.
  • If possible, sum up your arguments in one sentence (or two brief sentences).

The following is a sample template for the first paragraph that accomplishes these goals:

The author concludes that____________, because ________. The author's line of reasoning is that ______________. This argument is unconvincing for several reasons; it is____________ and it uses _____________.

First Body Paragraph (3-5 sentences)

In the first body paragraph your goal is to critique one of the following:

  • The reasoning of the argument
  • One of the premises of the argument
  • One of the assumptions of the argument

The following is a sample template for this paragraph that accomplishes this goal:

First of all, ____________________________ is based upon the questionable assumption ________________________________. That _______________,
however, _________________. Moreover, ________________________.

Second Body Paragraph (3-4 sentences)

The purpose of the second paragraph is to address one of the following:

  • The reasoning of the argument
  • One of the premises of the argument
  • One of the assumptions of the argument


The following is a sample template for this paragraph that accomplishes this goal:


Secondly, the author assumes that_________________________.
However, __________________________. It seems equally reasonable to assume that____________________.

 

Third (and optional Fourth) Body Paragraph

In this paragraph your goal is to critique one of the following:

  • The reasoning of the argument
  • One of the premises of the argument
  • One of the assumptions of the argument

Here's a sample template for this paragraph that accomplishes this goal:

Finally, _______________________________________. The author fails to consider__________________________________. For example, __________________. Because the author's argument _________________.

 

Final Paragraph (2-3 sentences)

In the final paragraph your goals are to:

  • Summarize your critique of the argument
  • State the main point of your essay

The final paragraph is not the place to introduce new arguments or issues. Sample template:

In sum, I agree that______________________. However, ____________________; on balance, _____________________.


You do not have to adhere strictly to our template to write an effective Analysis of Argument essay. Our structure is simply a suggestion that has proven to be a good writing strategy for this test. However, you may find that another form works better for you, especially for the body of your essay. The numbers of sentences indicated for each paragraph are guidelines, not hard-and-fast rules. You may chose to say more or less than our suggested paragraph length, but stay within a reasonable area of our templates to ensure that you please the E-rater.

Note: The transitional phrases used here are purposely simplistic; do not simply "parrot" them word-for-word in your essay or adopt a fill-in the blank approach. If you do, your essay might appear stilted or contrived.



Chapter 3 - Section 3d: Timing

How to write a 300-word essay in 30 minutes

Using time appropriately is extremely important when writing essays on the GMAT. You must use your time wisely. Do not dive right in. If you begin writing immediately you will likely find it difficult to follow your critique all the way through without making mistakes in organization. Instead, take time to think about what you will be writing and create an outline first.

Here is a basic breakdown of how to use your time:

1. Dissect argument (3-4 minutes)
2. Select your points
(4-5 minutes)
3. Outline
(about 1 minute)
4. Type essay
(18-20 minutes)
5. Proofread
(2-3 minutes)



PART 1: Thinking about the essay

Let's see how to do steps 1 and 2 on a sample essay question:

The problem of poorly trained police officers that has plagued New York City should become less serious in the future. The City has initiated comprehensive guidelines that oblige police officers in multiculturalism and proper ways to deal with the city's ethnic groups.

Explain how logically persuasive you find this argument. In discussing your viewpoint, analyze the argument's line of reasoning and its use of evidence. Also explain what, if anything, would make the argument more valid and convincing or help you to better evaluate its conclusion.

Step 1: Dissect the issue/argument (2 minutes)

What is the topic and scope of the argument?

Topic: the problem of poorly trained police officers

Scope: a given solution, centering on mandatory classes

The argument's conclusion?

The problem of poorly trained police officers that has plagued New York City should become less serious in the future.

 

What's the evidence?

The City has initiated comprehensive guidelines that oblige police officers in multiculturalism and proper ways to deal with the city's ethnic groups.

Arguments typically will be structured in one of two ways:

1) conclusion… because…. evidence

2) evidence…. therefore…. conclusion

Summarize the argument:

The problem of poor police officers will become less serious…

(conclusion)

multiculturalism training

(evidence)

How does the argument use its evidence?

It uses evidence of multiculturalism training as evidence to conclude that future improvement is likely.

Step 2: Select the points you will make (5 minutes)

Does the argument make any assumptions? That is, are there gaps between evidence and conclusion?

  1. Multiculturalism training will improve the current situation
  2. The present police force has poor training in multicultural issues
  3. The current police officers in the field will go back for re-training.


Under what circumstances would these assumptions be valid?

  1. Evidence making it clear that the present police officers have not already had multicultural training.
  2. Evidence showing that multicultural training makes better police officers.
  3. Evidence showing that untrained police officers will not be teaching in the future.

PART 2: Writing the essay

Step 3: Organize (1 minute)


Create and outline. You may even sketch it into the pages provided to plan the spatial aspects of your essay: look and length.

a. State a clear thesis for the essay.
b. Make each heading correspond to a paragraph.
c. Make sure that there are at least five paragraphs.
d. Make sure that each heading corresponds to a topic sentence.
e. Be sure that the beginning and ending paragraphs tie the essay together. These should introduce and sum up the main ideas, respectively.

 

Step 4: Type your essay (20 minutes)

Write your paragraphs in the essay with great care.

a. Each paragraph should have a topic sentence, which relates to the central idea of the entire essay.

b. The content of each paragraph should support the idea in the topic sentence (4a) above. For each paragraph, state an idea as the topic sentence and then give examples to support the idea or explain the idea completely. Make sure you are constantly referring back to this central idea, and not becoming involved in peripheral arguments.


Step 5: Proofread the essay
(2 minutes)

Make sure your "key" words, transitional phrases, major points, examples, are properly spelled so that the E-rater may identify them properly and know that you have a well written essay.



Chapter 4 : About the E-rater

What the E-rater Grades

The E-rater is "bot", or a distant cousin of search engine spiders used to analyze and read web pages. The E-rater will read your essays and look for phrases that indicate competent reasoning.

The E-rater uses a stored battery of hundreds of graded essays for each of the 280 essay questions (this is partly why GMAT essays haven't changed in years, to do so would require re-programming the E-rater). The E-rater has sample 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, and 6 score essays for each topic. The E-rater will evaluate your essay in terms of the stored essays in its database. If the essay you wrote resembles the stored "6" essays in the E-rater's database, you will get that score. If your essay better resembles the "5's" in the database, you will get a "5" from the E-rater.

That is why it is so important to read the 20 sample essays we have. You will see how well written arguments are structured and you will learn the proper style necessary to impress both the E-rater and the human grader.

What the E-rater doesn't grade

The E-rater cannot detect certain things, such as humor, spelling errors or grammar. It analyzes structure through the use of transitional phrases, paragraph changes, etc. It evaluates content by comparing your score to that of other students. If you have a brilliant argument that uses an unusual argument style, the E-rater will not detect this style.

The E-rater does, however, detect spelling and grammar indirectly. If your transition phrases and logical identifiers (e.g.- "therefore", "for example") are not properly spelled, the E-rater will not detect them. Since the E-rater uses the presence of such transitional phrases as an indicator of effective writing, you are indirectly penalized if they are not spelled correctly.


Articles about the E-rater:

Business Week



Chapter 4 - Section 4a: Using Strategy

Does the E-rater impact human graders?

The E-rater potentially puts pressure on human graders. Human graders will create problems if they constantly disagree with the E-rater and force a third, additional grader to look over the essay (this raises costs). In this way, the E-rater acts as a managerial tool to double-check graders and keep them in line. The bottom line: don't rely on your essay being appealing to the human grader. There is no guarantee that the grader will give you a high grade to counter a low E-rater grade. Try to follow the E-rater rules.

What are the implications for the GMAT student?

On the Issue Essay:

You should not try any bold or original approaches in your essay. The essay should be written in a simple and organized fashion. If you write a boldly original piece, do not rely on the human grader to acknowledge the quality of your writing. This may not be the place to expound upon how your master's thesis ties in with your GMAT essay.

On the Argument Essay:

The E-rater makes more sense on the Argument Essay because it is able to tell whether you have identified the argument's logical flaw. The E-rater stores hundreds of essays for each essay question and you should use keywords that correspond the stored "6" essays. When you have identified the logical flaws in the essay questions, (use our "usual suspects" section to identify logical flaws), make sure to describe the logical flaws. This way the E-rater can detect that you have identified the correct logical flaws.


Pleasing the E-rater:

  1. Make your essay highly rigid in structure. Make it look, in its organization, like other 5 and 6 essays.
  2. Clearly demarcate sections using phrases such as "for example", "therefore", etc..
  3. Use qualifiers judiciously. The E-rater will associate careful use of qualifiers with high scorers.
  4. Read our 20 Real Essays to get a flavor for how "6" score writing is done.
  5. Use the exact terminology we use in the Usual Suspects section to identify logical reasoning flaws in the Argument section.

Errors that will ruin your score with the E-rater (DO NOT):

1. Write an essay in a unique and creative fashion. The E-rater will be evaluating you relative to other writers, so a unique argument structure will not appear standard and will always backfire.

2. Misspell key phrases, such as "for example" and "therefore". The E-rater will not pick up the spelling errors and will assume that you did not use transition phrases.

3. Throw in jokes and other unnecessary commentary. The E-rater will not detect the meaning behind your writing, only its structure, so making clever comments will not raise your score.

4. Use unusual references that no other business school student would use. The E-rater uses other scorers as a template based on how well you resemble other scorers. On the Analysis of Issue question, if you do use unusual examples, also use concept keywords and a tight structure.

5. Avoid or overuse qualifiers such as "likely", "should", etc.. (link to qualifiers). Some of the best essay writers use qualifiers, which means the high score essays in the E-rater's database will be filled with essays saturated with qualifiers. However, do not overuse qualifiers or they will dilute your essay.

6. Use a unique and clever rhetorical device that spices up your essay. The E-rater cannot detect cleverness and may find an essay like this confusing, redundant or disorganized.

7. Follow Steve Jobs' clever advertising campaign for Apple "Think Different". For the AWA it is "Think the Same". You want to write as "6" scorers write. The Analysis of Issue section, in particular, is an exercise in conformity. Write opinions in the mainstream of intellectual thought. You may have compelling evidence about the role of UFO's in our daily lives, but your GMAT essay is not the place to introduce this startling news to the world.



Chapter 4 - Section 4b: International Students

The Usual Suspects: Common Logical Fallacies

(Much of this content is identical to the Critical Reasoning section).

There are seven logical errors that appear commonly in the essay questions. When writing your essay argument you should explicitly identify the logical flaw. These flaws also tend to occur in the critical reasoning section of the Verbal GMAT, so your preparation here will benefit you when taking the Verbal section.

1. Circular Reasoning

Here, an unsubstantiated assertion is used to justify another unsubstantiated assertion, which is used to justify the first statement. For instance, Joe and Fred show up at an exclusive club. When asked if they are members, Joe says "I'll vouch for Fred." When Joe is asked for evidence that he's a member, Fred says, "I'll vouch for him."

2. The Biased-Sample Fallacy

The Fallacy of the Biased Sample is committed whenever the data for a statistical inference is drawn from a sample that is not representative of the population under consideration. The data drawn and used to make a generalization is drawn from a group that does not represent the whole.

Here is an argument that commits the fallacy of the biased sample:

ln a recent survey conducted by Wall Street Weekly, 80% of the respondents indicated their strong disapproval of increased capital gains taxes. This survey clearly shows that increased capital gains taxes will meet with strong opposition from the electorate.

The data for the inference in this argument is drawn from a sample that is not representative of the entire electorate. Since the survey was conducted of people who invest, not all members of the electorate have an equal chance of being included in the sample. Moreover, persons who read about investing are more likely to have an opinion on the topic of taxes on investment that is different from the population at large.


3. Insufficient Sample Fallacy

The Fallacy of the Insufficient Sample is committed whenever an inadequate sample is used to justify the conclusion drawn.

Here's an argument that commits the fallacy of the insufficient sample:

I have worked with 3 people from New York City and found them to be obnoxious, pushy and rude. It is obvious that people from New York City have a bad attitude.

The data for the inference in this argument is insufficient to support the conclusion. Three observations of people are not sufficient to support a conclusion about the entire population of a city.

4. Ad hominem

One of the most often-employed fallacies, ad hominen means "to the man" and indicates an attack that is made upon a person rather than upon the statements that person has made. An example is: "Don't listen to my opponent, he's a homosexual."

5. Fallacy of Faulty Analogy       

Reasoning by analogy functions by making an unsubstantiated assumption when comparing two similar things. The fallacy assumes that since two things are alike in many ways, they will share another trait as well. Faulty Analogy arguments conclude that one similarity results in another, when in fact, there can be no way of inferring this extra similarity.

Here's an example of a Faulty Analogy fallacy:

Ted and Jim excel at both football and basketball. Since Ted is also a track star, it is likely that Jim also excels at track.

In this example, numerous similarities between Ted and Jim are taken as the basis for the inference that they share additional traits.

6. Straw Man

Here the speaker attributes an argument to an opponent that does not represent the opponent's true position. For instance, a political candidate might charge that his opponent "wants to let all prisoners go free," when in fact his opponent simply favors a highly limited furlough system. The person is portrayed as someone that they are not.

7. The "After This, Therefore, Because of This" Fallacy (Post hoc ergo propter hoc)

This is a "false cause" fallacy in which something is associated with something else because of mere proximity of time. One often encounters - in news stories- people assuming that because one thing happened after another, the first caused it, as with "I touched a toad; I have a wart; the toad caused the wart." The error in arguments that commit this fallacy is that their conclusions are simply claims and are not sufficiently substantiated by the evidence.

Here are two examples of the After This, Therefore Because of This Fallacy:

Ten minutes after walking into the auditorium, I began to feel sick to
my stomach. There must have been something in the air in that building that caused my nausea.

The stock market declined shortly after the election of the president,
thus indicating the lack of confidence the business community has in the new administration.

In the first example, a causal connection is posited between two events simply on the basis of one occurring before the other. Without further evidence to support it, the causal claim based on the correlation is premature.

The second example is typical of modern news reporting. The only evidence offered in this argument to support the implicit causal claim that the decline in the stock market was caused by the election of the president is the fact that election preceded the decline. While this may have been a causal factor in the decline of the stock market, to argue that it is the main cause without additional information is to commit the After This, Therefore, Because of This Fallacy.


8. The Either-or Thinking

This is the so-called black-or-white fallacy. Essentially, it says "Either you believe what I'm saying or you must believe exactly the opposite." Here is an example of the black-or-white fallacy:

Since you don't believe that the earth is teetering on the edge of destruction, you must believe that pollution and other adverse effects that man has on the environment are of no concern whatsoever.

The argument above assumes that there are only two possible alternatives open to us. There is no room for a middle ground.

9. The "All Things are Equal" Fallacy

This fallacy is committed when it is assumed, without justification, that background conditions have remained the same at different times/locations. In most instances, this is an unwarranted assumption for the simple reason that things rarely remain the same over extended periods of time, and things rarely remain the same from place to place.

The last Democrat winner of the New Hampshire primary won the general election. This year, the winner of the New Hampshire primary will win the general election.

The assumption operative in this argument is that nothing has changed since the last primary. No evidence or justification is offered for this assumption.

10. The Fallacy of Equivocation

The Fallacy of Equivocation occurs when a word or phrase that has more than one meaning is employed in different meanings throughout the argument.


"Every society is, of course, repressive to some extent - as Sigmund Freud pointed out, repression is the price we pay for civilization." (John P. Roche- political columnist)

In this example, the word repression is used in two completely different contexts. "Repression" in Freud's mind meant restricting sexual and psychological desires. "Repression" in the second context does not mean repression of individual desires, but government restriction of individual liberties, such as that in a totalitarian state.

11. Non Sequitur

This means "does not follow," which is short for: the conclusion does not follow from the premise. To say, "The house is white; therefore it must be big" is an example. It may be a big house but there is no intrinsic connection with its being white.

12. Argument ad populum

A group of kindergartners are studying a frog, trying to determine its sex. "I wonder if it's a boy frog or a girl frog," says one student. "I know how we can tell!" pipes up another. "All right, how?" asks the teacher, resigned to the worst. Beams the child: "We can vote."

This is argumentum ad populum, the belief that truth can be determined by more or less putting it to a vote. Democracy is a very nice thing, but it doesn't determine truth. Polls are good for telling you what people think, not whether those thoughts are correct.


 

Common Student Errors
We've graded essays from thousands of students and we see recurring errors time and time again. The most common error on the Analysis of Argument essay is "Splitting Hairs."

Splitting Hairs refers to trying to dissect errors that do not fall into the categories listed here. Remember that all questions have SERIOUS errors. The danger is that you could get distracted on a minor issue and miss the serious errors that the E-rater and the grader want to see.

Here is an example:
A company is cutting unneeded employees to cut costs and boost profitability. Is this a wise strategy?

Splitting Hairs: What if the employees refuse to go? What if the employees are actually volunteers? What if the employees are the company's biggest customers? etc..



Chapter 5: Crash Course in Effective Writing

Once you have mastered the material in the previous chapters and have an overall idea of what you want to say in your essay, you can focus on the best way to express it. This part of the AWA Essay Guide will help you develop the skills you need to create well-developed and well-written essays.

We have divided the lessons for writing into two parts:




Chapter 5 - Section 5a1: Eliminating Fill Sentences

Streamline your essay by avoiding unnecessary sentences.

  • Avoid sentences that do not advance your argument.
  • Avoid asking a question only to answer it.
  • Avoid sentences that announce that you are shifting the topic. Use transitional phrases instead of writing sentences to change your subject.

FILL: Who should be the next president? I think Mike Dukakis should give it another try.

TO THE POINT: Mike Dukakis should make a second bid for the presidency.


Exercise 1: Avoid "fill" sentences that do not serve a purpose.

Condense the two-sentence groups into one, direct sentence.

1. Who was Abraham Lincoln? He was a President of the United States.


2. Patton was a famous general. He was renowned for his ability to surprise the enemy.


3. The twister destroyed three city blocks. Many buildings collapsed because of the twister.

Answers below:


Answers

1. Abraham Lincoln was President of the United States.

2. General Patton was famous for his ability to surprise the enemy.

3. Many buildings were destroyed by the twister that destroyed three city blocks.

 


Chapter 5 - Section 5a2: Be Concise

Directness and clarity are valued over wordiness on the GMAT. Do not use several words when one will work just as well. Many writers tend to add excessive phrases like "take into consideration" in order to sound scholarly. This only makes the text sound inflated and perhaps pretentious.

WORDY: I am of the opinion that the said managers should be admonished for their utilization of customer response services.

CONCISE: We should tell the managers to improve customer service.


Exercise 2: Wordy Phrases

Shorten the sentences below to make them as concise as possible. (see answers)

1. This internet company is not prepared to expand at this point in time.


2. In light of the fact that Roger has worked with much effort and diligence to build this site, it would be a smart move to give him the contract.


3. The airline has a problem with always having arrivals that come at least an hour late, despite the fact that the leaders of the airline promise that promptness is a goal that has a high priority for all the employees involved.


4. In spite of the fact that she only has a little bit of experience in photography right now, she will probably do well in the future because she has a great deal of motivation to succeed in her chosen profession.


5. The United States is not in a position to spend more money to alleviate the suffering of the people of other countries considering the problems of its own citizens.


see answers below




Answers

1. The internet company is not prepared to expand now.

2. Since Roger has worked for this site so carefully, we should award him the contract.

3. Flights are always at least an hour late on this airline, though its leaders promise that promptness is a high priority for all its employees.

4. Although she is inexperienced in photography, she will probably succeed because she is motivated.

5. The United States cannot spend more money to alleviate other countries' suffering when its own citizens suffer.

 


Chapter 5 - Section 5a3: Qualification

What is a qualifier?

A qualifier is a word or phrase that tempers the language nearby. Words like fairly, rather, somewhat, and relatively, and expressions like seems to be, a little, and a certain amount of limit the severity of other words or phrases they modify.


Why use qualifiers?


Writing an Analysis of Issue essay is like walking a tight rope. You must be persuasive about your argument, yet you cannot be excessively one-sided. There are no clear-cut answers to Analysis of Issue questions, so do not overstate your case. To express that you are reasonable, sporadically use qualifiers in your essay. Qualifiers show that you are conscious of the nuances of the issue at hand and that you understand both sides of it.


Be careful!

As useful as qualifiers are, excessive qualification will dilute your argument and weaken the essay.

WORDY: The Hess spy case was a rather serious breach of national security and likely helped the Soviets.

CONCISE: The Hess spy case breached national security and helped the Soviets.

Too many qualifiers in the first sentence make it vague and confusing. Remember, you want to be clear about what you are saying, just not unreasonably opinionated.

Clear up the following sentences by eliminating excessive qualifiers.

1. You yourself are the very best person to decide what you should do for a living.

2. It is possible that the author overstates his case somewhat.

3. The president perhaps should use a certain amount of diplomacy before he resorts to force.

4. In Italy, I found about the best food I have ever eaten.

5. Needless to say, children should be taught to cooperate at home and in school.

 

 

Answers:

1. You are the best person to decide what you should do for a living.

2. The author overstates his case somewhat.

3. The president should use diplomacy before he resorts to force.

4. In Italy I found the best food I have ever eaten.

5. Children should be taught to cooperate at home and in school.

If there's no need to say it, don't!



Chapter 5 - Section 5a4: Start Strong


Try not to begin a sentence with This, Here is, There is, There are, or It is. These roundabout expressions indicate distance from your position and make your statement less definitive. Weak openings usually result from writing before you think- hedging until you find out what you want to say.


WEAK: There are many ways in which we can change our current monetary system.

STRONG: Our monetary system can be changed. 


WEAK: Here is how we can make a change: create ways to make counterfeiting more difficult.

STRONG: We should invest in anti-counterfeiting methods.


WEAK: This serious situation ought to be attended to right away.

STRONG: The financial crisis should be attended to right away.




Chapter 5 - Section 5a5: Active and Passive Voice

Passive vs. Active

PASSIVE:
The assignment was completed by Joe in record time.

ACTIVE: Joe completed the assignment in record time.

Active voice is the preferred essay writing style for the GMAT. If possible, you should always use the active voice, since it is more direct and shows action and intent. Statements made in the passive voice are weak because it is difficult to tell who or what is responsible for an action.

The passive voice does have value under certain circumstances. For instance, if you want to express something without assigning blame or if there is a question of responsibility. For example: "collateral damage has taken place". The sentence blames no one and does not assign who actually did it.


How is the essay graded?

Both the E-rater and the human grader can detect the passive voice and using it will lower your score. Admissions officers also frown on the passive voice.


International students:

Certain languages, such as French, use more of a passive voice. Be careful to adjust your style.


Exercises: rewrite the sentences below in active voice.

1. Garbage collectors should be generously rewarded for their dirty, smelly labors.



2. The conditions of the contract agreement were ironed out minutes before the strike deadline.



3. The minutes of the City Council meeting should be taken by the city clerk.



4. With sugar, water, or salt, many ailments contracted in less developed countries could be treated.



5. Test results were distributed with no concern for confidentiality.





6.The report was compiled by a number of field anthropologists and marriage experts.


 

 

Answers:

1. Incorrect: Garbage collectors should be generously rewarded for their dirty, smelly labors.

Correct: City government should generously reward garbage collectors for their dirty, smelly labors.


2. Incorrect: The conditions of the contract agreement were ironed out minutes before the strike deadline.

Correct: Negotiators ironed out the conditions of the contract agreement minutes before the strike deadline.

3. Incorrect: The minutes of the City Council meeting should be taken by the city clerk.

Correct: The city clerk should take the minutes of the City Council meeting.


4. Incorrect: With sugar, water, or salt, many ailments contracted in less developed countries could be treated.

Correct: With sugar, water, or salt, doctors can treat many of the ailments that citizens of less developed countries contract.


5. Incorrect: Test results were distributed with no concern for confidentiality.

Correct: The teacher distributed test results with no concern for confidentiality.


6. Incorrect: The report was compiled by a number of field anthropologists and marriage experts.

Correct: A number of field anthropologists and marriage experts compiled the report.




Chapter 5 - Section 5a(6): Self-Reference

Essay writers should avoid unnecessary phrases such as "I believe," "I feel," and "in my opinion." The grader knows whose opinion is being expressed and he or she does not need to be reminded.

WEAK: I am of the opinion that excessive self-reference may add a level of pomposity to an otherwise effective essay.

FORCEFUL: Excessive self-reference may add a level of pomposity to an otherwise effective essay.

Your statements are stronger and more believable when you say them with conviction and do not use self-reference. They appear more professional this way.

Self-reference, like qualification, is effective when used sparingly.

Exercise: Restructure these sentences to remove the self-reference.

1. I must emphasize that I am not saying the author does not have a point.


2. If I were a college president, I would implement several specific reforms to combat apathy.


3. It is my belief that either alternative would prove disastrous.



Answers

1. The author has a point.

2. College presidents should implement several specific reforms to combat apathy.

3. Either alternative would prove disastrous.



Chapter 5 - Section 5a(7): Redundancy

Redundancy is the unnecessary repetition of an idea. For example, saying "a beginner lacking experience" is redundant. The word beginner implies lack of experience. You can eliminate redundant words or phrases without changing the meaning of the sentence. Watch out for words that add nothing to the sense of the sentence, because redundancy takes away from the clarity and conviction of a statement.

Here are some common redundancies:

Redundant Phrase  Concise Phrase
1. refer back  to
2. Few in number   few
3. Small-sized  small
4. Grouped together  grouped
5. In my own personal opinion  in my opinion
6. End result  result
7. Serious crisis  crisis
8. New initiatives  initiatives

Redundancy often results from carelessness, but you can easily eliminate redundant elements when proofreading.

Exercise: Proofread these sentences for redundancy:

1. Those who can follow directions are few in number.



2. She has deliberately chosen to change careers.





3. Dialogue opens up many doors to compromise.






4. The ultimate conclusion is that environmental and economic concerns are intertwined.


Answers

1. Few people can follow directions.

2. She has chosen to change careers.

3. Dialogue opens many doors to compromise.

4. The conclusion is that environmental and economic concerns are intertwined.



Chapter 5 - Section 5a(8): Vague Writing

Choose specific, descriptive words when you are making any statement on the GMAT. Vague language weakens your writing because it forces the reader to guess what you mean instead of concentrating fully on your ideas and style.

WEAK: Mr. Brown is highly educated.
FORCEFUL: Mr. Brown has a master's degree in business administration.

WEAK: She is a great communicator.
FORCEFUL: She speaks persuasively.

Notice that sometimes to be more specific and concrete, you will have to use more words than you may otherwise with vague language (as in the first example). This principle is not in conflict with the general objective of writing concisely. Being concise may mean eliminating unnecessary words. Avoiding vagueness may mean adding necessary words to illustrate your point.

Edit these sentences by reducing the vague language:

1. The principal told John that he should not even think about coming back to school until he changed his ways.



2. The police detective had to seek the permission of the la