Need a 6 on the AWA section? Use the 800score guide.

Eric Bahn, Founder, BeattheGMAT

The Analytical Writing Assessment (AWA) consists of two 30-minute sections, the Analysis of Issue essay and the Analysis of Argument essay. You will receive a grade from 1 to 6 on each and these will be sent with your GMAT scores.

Both a human grader and an "E-rater," a computerized grading program, will grade your essays. If the graders disagree, your essays will be sent to a third (human) grader. Not writing your essay in the proper format for the E-rater could lead to a lower score.

The good news is that the AWA can be beaten.The essay topics are available for you to review beforehand. The structures for the AWA answers are simple and may be learned. In addition, while much GMAT preparation may appear "useless" and without any merit beyond test day, the skills, reasoning tools, and techniques you learn for the AWA may be applied to any essay or persuasive writing. Don't worry about over-preparing for the AWA section, because you'll actually use this for the real world!

800score has graded tens of thousands of essays from GMAT candidates and we have an unparalleled knowledge of where students go wrong.

Here are some tips before we get started:

• Grammar and spelling are less important than structure and content.
  
  
• The E-rater's main impact is to put more value on highly structured writing.
  
  
• Take many timed practice tests on a computer. We have 20 practice essays.
  
  

The Analysis of Issue question asks you to discuss your opinion on an issue. You will need to write a well-balanced analysis of the issue presented by the test.

The most common topics relate to general business and public policy issues. Business issues include business ethics, marketing and labor. Government issues include regulatory and social welfare issues.

Sample topic

• Does lowering tax rates increase economic growth?
  
  Discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the opinion stated above. Support your views with reasons and/or examples from your own experience, observations or reading.
  
  

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Pick a Side

In order to attack these generalized policy questions, you need to take a precise position. Because your essay will be short (you have only 30 minutes), you won't be able to cover every possible argument, rebuttal and example. Choose the most persuasive points and relevant examples.

Question	Thesis	Evaluation
“It is essential that politicians keep certain secrets from the public.”	“Politicians are ultimately representatives of the public charged with acting in the best interest of the public. However, in order to fulfill this responsibility, it is essential for politicians to occasionally keep secrets from the very people they represent.”	Precise. This stays parallel by addressing whether or not keeping secrets is essential (as the prompt suggests) and evaluates the question only in   terms of the public.
Comment: The trick here is the word essential ... this word is an extreme statement and opens up the argument to dispute.	“While it may harm their favor in polls, it is often a better choice for politicians to withhold certain information from the public.”	Imprecise.  This does not address whether withholding this information is "essential," as the prompt suggests. A more precise stance would address  whether or not this choice is essential rather than simply better.
	“Withholding information is indeed a right of politicians, as evidenced by the Fifth Amendment of the United States Constitution, which essentially   guarantees all Americans the right to withhold information—politicians included.”	Imprecise. This does not address whether or not keeping secrets is "essential," but rather whether or not it is a "right." Additionally, this loses  track by addressing a Constitutional amendment aimed at protecting the right to withhold in a courtroom, whereas the prompt addresses withholding information from the public.

You Can Talk About Both Sides

Pick a side, but also feel free to acknowledge both sides of the issue to show that you understand both side fully. You can persuade the reader that, despite the counter-arguments, your position is, overall, the stronger one.

Show the reader that you see both sides of the issue by occasionally using qualifiers when describing each side. A qualifier is a word or phrase that tempers the language nearby. Words like fairly, rather, somewhat, and relatively, and expressions like seems to be, a little, and a certain amount of limit the severity of other words or phrases they modify.

Where should I get examples?

Your supporting evidence may be drawn from personal experience, academic knowledge, current events, and/or history. Try to limit your use of personal experience unless it is very compelling, relevant and effective.

Coming up with ideas is generally easier for students who have taken government policy analysis courses. This section favors the student who flips to the editorial page of The Wall Street Journal. To get comfortable with public policy issues, try reading the Wall Street Journal, The Nation, or The Economist regularly before the test.

International Students: Read these American publications as much as possible to see how Americans structure their writing and to stay updated on issues.


Stick to Conventional Positions

Many Analysis of Issue topics could have controversial answers. As you can never predict who will read your essay, avoid gambling with highly charged writing. Stick to uncontroversial "politically correct" ideas and opinions. Doing so ensures that your reader will not be able to disagree with you and potentially score you accordingly. An extreme or forceful essay may also confuse the E-rater, since your essay will not resemble any of the essays it has stored in its database.


Analysis of Issue expectations for a "6":

1. Is well developed, logical and coherent;
   
2. Demonstrates critical thinking skills;
3. Uses varied sentence structure and vocabulary;
   
4. Uses standard written English and follows the language’s conventions;
   
5. Is free of mechanical errors in spelling, punctuation, and capitalization.
   
   

Don't Get Off Topic

It is essential to fully and comprehensively address the question (or questions) posed in the prompt. Most often, this means borrowing wording from the prompt to stay parallel and avoiding off-topic tangents that complicate the answer with needless information. Do not waste time straying from the topic. 

	Keep it concise Put yourself in the position of a grader. They grade essays all day. Wouldn't you favor a concise and effective essay with five paragraphs of four sentences each over a four-paragraph rambling essay with ten sentences in each paragraph? Keep the essays crisp, concise, and well structured.

How to write a coherent 300-word essay in 30 minutes or less.

	Step 1. Examine the issue (3-4 minutes) a. What is the basic issue? Try to phrase it as a question. b. Those in favor would say___________________. c. Those against would say___________________.

	Step 2. Choose what points you want to make (4-5 minutes) a. Arguments in favor: b. Arguments opposed: c. Take a side: which side do you prefer? d. Write a thesis statement.

 

	Step 3. Outline (about 1 minute) 1. Make sure that your outline: states the central idea of the essay clearly and forcefully. provides a word or phrase for every paragraph in the essay. relates each paragraph to the central idea of the essay in (2a) above. includes both opening and closing paragraphs that tie the essay together. 2. Build your paragraphs in the essay carefully. Following these few simple rules will help you produce effective writing on analyzing an issue: Use topic sentences that not only sum up the idea of the paragraph, but also relate to the main argument of the essay. Every statement in each paragraph should relate to the central idea of the paragraph in (3a) above. In each paragraph, use examples to support the central idea or explain it completely. Consciously choose paragraph length. If your paragraphs are all too short (one or two sentences), you will be penalized. If they are too long, you will also be penalized.

 

	Step 4: Write/type your essay (18-20 minutes) What's your thesis sentence? Arguments for… Arguments opposed...

 

	Step 5: Proofread your work (2-3 minutes) Check for grammar, spelling, etc.

Structure: The Introduction

Each essay must have an introduction paragraph that contains the following elements:

 1) A Brief Summary of the Prompt
            Summarizing the prompt will both make your essay self-contained, meaning it
            will work on its own without depending on the prompt for clarification, and (more
            importantly) show the grader that you have accurately understood the challenge.

2) A Clear Stance
            As outlined in Chapter 2, it is essential to take a clear and confident stance rather
            than hovering between sides (which dodges the question rather than answering it). 
            Make sure your stance is clear, on-topic, and concrete.

3) A Brief Forecasting Passage
            Adding specific keywords from your body paragraphs to preview and outline your 
            specific body points will help map your essay while further highlighting and
            reinforcing your ideas.

Practice Quiz Prompt: “Because many works of art and science are now available to view online, schools should no longer spend money on field trips to museums, which are more expensive and less convenient.”

Hint: there may be more than one correct answer

A. “Just as ebooks have now begun to outsell traditional paper books and replace them in schools because of price and convenience, virtual visits to museums via computers should replace traditional fieldtrips in schools. Prime reasons for this beyond the prompt’s mention of price and convenience include the built-in technological education and the preserved safety of such online viewing.”	Correct. Because this takes a clear stance and outlines specific points while remaining parallel with the prompt, this is a strong option.
B. “Ebooks are now outselling traditional paper books and replacing these traditional books in many schools. This is a sign that electronic media such as online galleries of art and science museums will indeed replace traditional field trips in the near future.”	Incorrect. Because this fails to accurately address the prompt by answering whether or not online viewership will replace fieldtrips rather than whether or not it should, this is a weaker option.
C. “I disagree with the prompt above because it ignores many educational aspects of physical trips to museums, such as the value of in-person and hands-on activity and the need to practice behavior outside of the classroom.”	Incorrect. Because this lacks a summary of the prompt, this is a vague and weak option.
D. “Because the author of the prompt ignores the primary benefits of physical field trips—chiefly, the ability to interact with exhibits and professionals from outside of the school—the prompt suffers from a narrow train of thought.”	Incorrect. Because this lacks a summary of the prompt, this is a vague and weak option.
E. “While viewing museum exhibits online is indeed convenient and likely cost- saving, students can still benefit more from physically visiting museums—as doing so allows them to interact with both exhibits and people from outside of their comfort zones.”	Correct. Because this summarizes the prompt, takes a clear stance, and highlights specific points from the essay, this is a strong option.

 

Structure: The Body

Each essay should include two to three body paragraphs, each of which addresses a fresh, focused point illustrated by a clear example.

Prompt: “Because many works of art and science are now available to view online, schools should no longer spend money on field trips to museums, which are more expensive and less convenient.”

A. “First, museums are valuable experiences but limit physical visitors to learning only about their exhibits. Viewing exhibits online, meanwhile, will expose students to additional valuable lessons on technology and computers. Because online viewing offers this additional lesson in addition to that of the exhibits, it is an option that school administrators should favor over physical field trips.”	Incorrect. Because this fails to explain why such technological lessons are valuable to students, this is a weaker option.
B. “One reason to pursue online viewership in the classroom is because it will not only teach students about the content they are viewing, but about the technological means that enable this. Online viewing, for example, will expose students to computers, the internet, and many electronic technologies that they will need to be familiar with in order to succeed in education and the workplace. Because online viewing offers these educational bonuses in addition to the content of the museum itself, it represents a superior choice for students and educators.”	Correct. Because this clearly outlines a point and thoroughly supports the reasoning behind it, this is a strong option.
C. “Both art and science are fields best appreciated and understood when they involve interaction in real time and space. By visiting museums, then, and seeing art in its true color and size, and interacting hands-on with science exhibits, students are much more likely to engage with and remember the material than they would be after simply looking at it on a two-dimensional computer screen. Because it therefore represents a more likely path toward effective, lifelong learning, physical field trips should take priority over virtual trips.”	Correct. Because this uses two examples clearly aligned toward a singular point to move the essay forward, this is a strong option.
D. “Two separate advantages of physical visits to museums over virtual visits are the ability to interact with art and science—which will help develop curiosity and a desire to learn among students—and the ability to do so without worrying about unreliable internet connections that might slow the transmission of streaming video or photos . . . and therefore prevent effective learning. Because of these advantages, physical visits remain the superior choice for schools.”	Incorrect. Because this unsuccessfully merges two very separate points, creating an unfocused paragraph, this is a weaker option.
E. None of the above choices are optimal.	Incorrect. Several strong options exist. Choose again.

Section 2b: Structure- The Body

Just like the initial body paragraphs, secondary body paragraphs should address fresh, focused points illustrated by clear examples.

Structure Quiz 3: Secondary Body Paragraphs

Prompt: “Because many works of art and science are now available to view online, schools should no longer spend money on field trips to museums, which are more expensive and less convenient.”

A. “Secondly, those who champion the idea of physical field trips over virtual field trips are ignoring the liability of keeping students safe. What would this group say, for example, in response to the many cases of school busses overturning en route to their destinations—or the cases of children who have been lost, kidnapped, or harmed while out of the safety of their classrooms?”

Incorrect. Because this asks questions but fails to answer them—leaving the reader alone to figure out the connection—this is a weaker option.

B. “Additionally, virtual visits to museums reduce the liability of schools and help preserve the safety of students by keeping them in a controlled classroom rather than transporting them on busses and taking them to unfamiliar places—which presents added danger in terms of students getting lost or harmed. Because a responsibility of schools is to protect its students, keeping them in the classroom to view materials is a better choice than transporting them to museums to view the  same material in person.”

Correct. Because this employs elaboration to explain the complete thought  process behind this point while clearly connecting it with the prompt, this is a strong option.

C. “The ability to interact with new people and new environments (while
supervised) is another advantage of physical trips to museums—which often take students out of their city or state and into places they have never been that are staffed by employees and visited by other students with whom they have never interacted with. This opportunity for interaction gives students the important opportunity to practice responsible behavior such as communicating with strangers, navigating foreign environments, and behaving responsibly outside of the classroom—which add great educational advantages over virtual visits and therefore make physical visits a wiser choice.”

Correct. Because this uses formal language and precise detail to illustrate and support a point parallel with the prompt, this is a strong option.

 

D. “Learning to interact with strangers is another valuable aspect of education that
administrators should favor. Without this ability, students would not be able to achieve emotional happiness through friendships or career success through effective communication. As schools are meant to teach students to be happy both emotionally and professionally, this is a type of interaction they must indeed teach.”

Incorrect. Because this fails to connect this type of interaction with either type of museum visit, this is a weaker option.

 

Chapter 4 – Section 2c: Structure, The Body

Just like the initial and secondary body paragraphs, tertiary body paragraphs should address fresh, focused points illustrated by clear examples.

However, do not feel pressured to add a third body paragraph merely for the sake of quantity. Two strong body paragraphs will score higher than two strong body paragraphs followed by a third, weaker paragraph. Go with your strongest options only.

Structure Quiz 3: Third Body Paragraphs

Prompt: “Because many works of art and science are now available to view online, schools should no longer spend money on field trips to museums, which are more expensive and less convenient.”

A. “Finally, the cost difference between the two options is minimal if existent at all. Physical trips are costly in that they require admission fees and gas for transportation—but virtual access to online sites requires internet access and either individual computers for students or a single computer with an expensive projector. Because both options require similar extra expenses in addition to minimal school materials, they are fairly even in this manner—meaning price should not be a barrier either way.”

Incorrect. Because this focuses on factors that cancel each other out—and therein fails to move the argument forward toward a clear stance—this is a weaker option.

B. None of the above choices are optimal.

Correct. Because the alternative option aims to equalize the sides rather than advance one in accordance with the stance, this is the strongest option.

 

Chapter 4 – Section 3: Structure, The Conclusion

Finally, each essay must end with a final conclusion paragraph.

As the name suggests, conclusion paragraphs are meant to conclude points rather than begin them, so make sure to avoid new information (which belongs in your body or introduction) in your conclusions.

Instead, aim to accurately mirror your stance and points, recapping your ideas in a manner that shows their combined sum as greater than the sum of the individual parts.

Structure Quiz 4: Conclusions

Prompt: “Because many works of art and science are now available to view online, schools should no longer spend money on field trips to museums, which are more expensive and less convenient.”

A. “In conclusion, ebooks and virtual field trips are indeed the way of the future. Because virtual trips offer additional educational rewards and safety benefits, we are likely to see many schools opt out of physical trips to museums in favor of virtual trips using online galleries.”

Incorrect. Because this focuses on whether or not the shift is likely to happen rather than whether or not the shift should happen (as the prompt suggests), this is a weaker option.

 

B. “In conclusion, administrators of schools should indeed be inclined to favor online viewing of art and science museum content rather than physical viewing of art and science museum content on behalf of their plethora of students, whom they are liable to both educate and protect in a responsible and efficient manner and on a daily basis. The precise reasoning behind this statement, as stated and elaborated upon above, is that the wiser choice of online viewership offers students the added and favorable advantages and improvements over physical field trips by adding further opportunities for knowledge-based learning while also preserving the physical safety of each and every student.”

Incorrect.
            Bonus Lesson: Because this suffers from wordiness, which clouds its points, this  
            is a weaker option. Accurate simplicity will score higher than needless
            complexity. Use precise words to simplify and concentrate your points.

 

C. “In sum, viewing museum content online in classrooms is something school administrators should favor over physical field trips to museum. This conclusion is based upon the added technological lessons and safety measures that coincide with online learning—and the opposing lack of technological lessons and added safety risks that coincide with physical field trips.”

Correct. Because this accurately mirrors the essay’s introduction and body, this is a strong option.

 

D. “In conclusion, physical visits to museums are far superior than virtual visits because they enable more active and effective learning and concurrently teach valuable communication skills. Because of this, schools should favor physical field trips over virtual online viewing.”

Correct. Because this accurately mirrors the points and purpose of the essay, this is a strong option.

 

E. “In conclusion, schools are responsible for teaching students how to succeed both personally and professionally. School administrators should therefore pursue the paths that best lead to these outcomes—regardless of the cost or convenience involved.”

Incorrect. Because this fails to connect with either type of museum visit, thereby disconnecting with the prompt, this is a weaker option.

Essay Template

Structure is the most important part of your essay. Your essay must be written in a standard format with the standard logical transitions. The E-rater will scan your essay to identify whether it has a standard structure.

• The introduction lays out your argument, the body paragraphs support it and the conclusion reiterates it. This means that you shouldn't be introducing new arguments in the conclusion. 
  
   
• Number of Paragraphs - To satisfy the E-rater, your essay should be four to five paragraphs, two of which will be your introduction and conclusion. In addition, your essay will include two to three "body" paragraphs. Each paragraph should have two to five sentences (total essay about 300-400 words).
  
  Note: You should skip a line between paragraphs since the TAB key does not function in the essay section.
  

Essay Template

• The numbers of sentences indicated for each paragraph is a guideline that varies depending on how much content you have.
  
• The transitional phrases we use in the Template are intentionally simplistic. This is not a simple approach where you can "fill-in-the-blanks." Flesh out the template and use it as a guideline to write a disciplined and focused essay.

Template

1) Introductory Paragraph (2-4 sentences)

Keep your introductory paragraph concise, strong and effective.

What the introductory paragraph should accomplish:

• Explain the issue (briefly).
  
• Show that you understand the full complexities of the issue (for example, by recognizing competing interests, various factors or key assumptions made).
  
• State your position on the issue (without the details yet).
   

	Sample template for introductory paragraph (2 sentences): a) Whether ___________________ depends on ___________________. b) (insert your opinion), ___________________.

2) First Body Paragraph (3-5 sentences)
 

	Develop your position using your most important evidence. Use one or two examples to back up your main point: a) The chief reason for my view is ___________________. b) For example, ___________________. c) Moreover, ___________________. d) Finally, ___________________.

3) Second Body Paragraph

Expand your position with a "secondary" reason. Support your rationale further with at least one example.

Provide rationale and/or evidence to support it.

	Here's a sample template for the second body paragraph that accomplishes these objectives: a) Another reason for my view is ___________________. b) Specifically, ___________________. c) The result is, ___________________. d) In addition to _[first evidence]__ , __[new evidence]__ also proves….

4) Optional Third Body Paragraph

In this optional paragraph, you acknowledge a competing viewpoint or counter-argument (and rationale and/or examples that support it), and then provide rebuttals to further support your position. In this paragraph, you walk a tightrope, as you must acknowledge the counter-argument, then deny it immediately in the next sentence and use that denial to strengthen your own argument.

• Acknowledge a different viewpoint or a counter-argument.
  
• Provide rationale and/or examples that support it.
  
• Provide a rebuttal.

	Here's a sample template for the third body paragraph that accomplishes the objectives indicated above: a) Some might argue, ___________________. b) Yet, ___________________. c) Others might cite, ___________________. d) However, ___________________.

5) Conclusion Paragraph

In this paragraph, you write a summary of your position in one to three sentences:

• State the thrust of your position.
  
• Restate the main points from the body of your essay.
  
• Broaden your scope and show how your ideas can apply more widely.

	The concluding paragraph is not the place for new information or reasons. It is not a place to draw new conclusions. a) In sum, I concur that ___________________. b) However,___________________; on the ___________________. c) Without _________________, we would not have _________________

What is an argument?

A strong argument tries to persuade the reader to accept a point of view using:

1. A declarative statement of an idea or opinion.

2. Support for the statement: including relevant facts, opinions based on facts and/or careful reasoning.

What is the Analysis of Argument?

Analysis of Argument questions present a short argument on an issue where you discuss how well it is reasoned.

	Here is an example of an Analysis of Argument question: Toads cause warts. I touched a toad last week and now I have a wart; therefore the toad was responsible. How would you rate the accuracy of the above statement? Support your position with reasons and examples.

How does the Analysis of Argument differ from the Analysis of Issue?

On Analysis of Issue questions, you are arguing grand issues such as, "Should China be in the World Trade Organization given their record of flagrant piracy?," or "Should parents have vouchers to send children to the school of their choice." Reasonable people could differ in their opinions with Analysis of Issue, but no reasonable person would absolutely support a flawed argument in an Analysis of Argument. When you are working on an Analysis of Argument, look for the fallacies that exist in the reasoning as opposed to inserting your personal opinions on the topic.

Graders expect the following:

• An essay that analyzes several aspects of the argument with critical insight.
  
• A clearly developed and logical essay.
  
• A coherent essay with well-chosen transitions.
  
• An essay that uses varied sentence structure and vocabulary.
  
• An essay free of grammatical errors.

As with Analysis of Issue, the topic sentence of each paragraph must contain the germ of the idea that permeates the entire paragraph. Each example or illustration must connect to that idea using transitional markers such as for example, furthermore, therefore, thus or moreover.

Consider the following example:

Stimulus	Toads cause warts. I touched a toad last week and now I have a wart; therefore, the toad was responsible.
Question Stem	How would you rate the accuracy of the above statement? Support your position with reasons and examples.

The Stimulus

In the first part of the Analysis of Argument topic, the writer tries to persuade you of his conclusion by referring to evidence. Be on the lookout for assumptions and poor logical reasoning used to come to the conclusion.

The Question Stem

Question stems will ask you to explain why an argument is not convincing, and discuss improvements to the argument. For this task, you'll need to first analyze the argument itself and evaluate its use of evidence. Second, you'll need to explain how a different approach or more information would make the argument itself better (or possibly worse).

They say: Explain what, if anything, would make the argument more valid and convincing or help you to better evaluate its conclusion.

Translation: Spot weak links in the argument and offer changes that would strengthen them.

Attack the Argument

Each argument's stimulus has been intentionally "loaded" with flaws or fallacies that you should acknowledge and discuss. If you fail to see the fundamental problems in the argument, you will not get a high score. Attacking questions with logic means addressing the thought process outlined in the prompt rather than its background or setup information, details presented as fact.

The purpose of the essay is for you to critique the reasoning in the argument. Your personal opinions are not relevant. Instead, your essay needs to focus on flaws in the argument and how the argument could be strengthened.

Taking a Stance Quiz 1: Analysis of Argument

Prompt: “The temperature in Smithtown averages ten degrees hotter than the temperature in Jonestown during the summer. Numerous studies, meanwhile, confirm a direct link between temperature and thirst. As such, one can expect residents of Smithtown to consume more water than residents of Jonestown.”	A. “It may be true that residents of Smithtown consume more water than those of Jonestown due to increased summer temperatures, but it is not wise to trust this assertion without knowing more information, such as the duration of the temperature comparisons. It is possible, for example, that the temperature study was conducted during a single odd summer in which one city had higher temperatures—when the two cities had equal temperatures every other year. If this is the case, then water consumption is likely to remain equal.”	Incorrect. The temperature differences are presented as facts and not indicative of the author’s thought process. An attack on logic would address the conclusion drawn from these temperatures.
	B. “I disagree with the prompt, as it ignores other alternatives that residents of Smithtown might use to cope with the increased heat, such using more air conditioning to lower temperatures (which, according to the prompt, would decrease thirst) or quenching their increased thirst with sport drinks rather than water.”	Correct. This focuses on the author’s use of logic to conclude that residents in the hotter area will use water to quench their thirst rather than using technology to lower the temperature (and related level of thirst) or another liquid to fulfill their thirst. The studies and statistics mentioned in the prompt should be accepted as fact, as they exist only to create a platform to showcase the author’s logic.
	C. “While the prompt appears credible at first due to its citation of ‘numerous studies,’ it is essential to remember that not all studies are equal. If the studies are dated or linked to unreliable scientists or equipment, then their findings might be wholly inaccurate—and therein have no correlation with the level of thirst in these two towns despite even larger temperature differences.”	Incorrect. This focuses on studies that have been presented as fact, not opinion. An attack on logic would address the conclusion drawn from these temperatures: that they will ultimately lead to increased water consumption in the hotter town.

 

Chapter 3: Creating Content

Once you’ve identified the proper stance, you must support this stance in your body section using clear examples.

There are two basic types of examples, both of which you must master to succeed:

 
1) The Real-World Example:
This type of example is drawn from your personal readings and experience.

To develop strong personal examples, your examples must extend outward from their singular nature and should represent universal trends rather than isolated incidents.  

2) The Theoretical Example:
This type of example is wholly imaginary and created by you for the sole purpose of supporting or opposing the prompt.

            To develop strong hypothetical examples, your examples must remain grounded
            in reality, meaning that they must still remain logical, plausible, and relevant to  
            the prompt.

Creating Content Quiz 1: Analysis of Issue Examples

Prompt:
“In business, it takes a lot of money to make a lot of money.”

A.“Since Steve Jobs returned to Apple as its CEO, he has significantly grown its market share and profits by reimagining its products. However, this required billions of dollars and would not have been possible had Apple not already had such capital.”	Correct. This highlights a universal truth that most businesses have to spend money in order to make money by investing in products, infrastructure, and personnel.
B. “My uncle won the lottery. His ticket only cost him a dollar (not a lot of money by any measure), and it earned him millions in return.”	Incorrect. This is not only a rare exception that represents an oddity rather than a trend, but it similarly loses connection with the prompt by focusing on income from gambling rather than that of a “business.”
C. “Many of the best performing investment funds have high minimum buy-in fees, meaning their potential reward is only available to those wealthy enough to afford such minimums.”	Correct. This focuses on a trend across many funds rather than a specific fund, which would fail to universally address the prompt.
D. “A person with a potentially profitable idea, such as founding the next big fast food chain, will need money to build this idea—money to purchase land, pay for food supplies, hire and train workers, and hire lawyers to protect these assets.”	Correct. This theoretical example focuses on costs that will apply to many types of businesses, not just fast food establishments. This proves a need for initial capital across the board.
E. “An entrepreneur can easily take out a loan to pay for his company’s startup costs, spending a bank’s money rather than his own. This would mean he was not spending money in order to make money.”	Incorrect. This is a specific example but illogically ignores the fact that money is still being spent, as the entrepreneur would be spending the bank’s money (in addition to a probable down payment on this loan and eventual monthly payments).

Creating Content Quiz 2: Analysis of Issue

Prompt:
“Space travel is currently too expensive and therefore a poor investment.”

A. “It is theorized that alternative energies such as hydrogen will one day be able to power spacecraft for a fraction of the price of fossil fuels.”	Incorrect. This is a theory, not a fact, and it addresses future expenses rather than the current expenses targeted in the prompt.
B. “Not only has space travel cost hundreds of millions in technological expenses, but it has cost lives as well, which are priceless.”	Correct. Identifying other types of “expenses” will show versatility and creative thinking. The loss of astronauts’ lives is expensive on an emotional level as well as a manpower level.
C.“While space travel is currently very expensive, it remains a strong investment because money spent today will make space travel cheaper in the future. Building the space station, for example, was quite expensive; however, its construction was a one-time expense. The more it is used, the more it will pay for itself—and in the future, it will require only maintenance expenses rather than construction expenses, which will be much more affordable.”	Correct. This stays parallel by addressing current expenses, but uses logic to explain why these expenses will ultimately prove to be a worthy investment.
D. “The first space shuttle launched into space cost taxpayers more than a billion dollars.”	Incorrect. This focuses on past expenses rather than current expenses.
E. “While space travel might not bring back tangible profit from outer space, such as gold and minerals, the pursuit of such has yielded great technological benefits, such as the development of foams and safety equipment that continues to make its way into the lives of ordinary civilians.”	Correct. Financial benefits are not the only reward on an investment. Technological benefits and innovations count as well.
F. All of these examples are appropriate.	Incorrect. Several examples are superior to the others. Try again.

Creating a Strong Argument

Consider the following example:

            “It’s going to snow tomorrow, so the university should cancel classes.”

While this example may seem complete, it is missing a supporting link between the claim (“the university should cancel classes”) and the evidence (“it’s going to snow tomorrow”).

Notice the improvement after supporting points are added:

            “It’s going to snow tomorrow, which will make the roads slick and dangerous. To 
            avoid injuries to commuting students and faculty, the university should cancel 
            classes until the roads are safe again.”

Quiz 1: Strengthening Arguments

            Prompt: “Toads cause warts. I touched a toad last week and now I have a wart;  
                             therefore, the toad was responsible.”

A. “Toads may cause warts, but more information is needed to link this particular wart with the toad. For example, it is important to know where the warts developed and what body part or parts came into contact with the toad.”	Incorrect. This fails to explain why it is important to know this information. A stronger example would explain that warts are spread through direct contact, then highlight the potential absence of direct contact if the wart appeared on the author’s wrist when the author only touched the toad with his or her foot.”
B. “Similarly, it is important to know the author’s history with warts and toads. If, for example, the author has never before touched a toad but has developed warts on a weekly basis, then it is likely that the wart is caused by other reasons, such as a chronic virus such as the human papillomavirus that causes warts to appear regardless of external contact.”	Correct. Adding the example of an internal virus explains why it is important to know the author’s relevant background, as the new wart might have appeared due to a preexisting condition.
C. “The idea that toads cause warts is a myth. I, for example, have touched many toads and never developed a single wart. Without citing a medical doctor or scholarly study to back this claim, the connection is unsubstantiated.”	Incorrect. You need to address the author’s logic rather than the background or setup information.
D. “It is possible that this particular toad was not a carrier of the bacteria or virus that causes warts. The best way to know would be to find the toad and conduct a scientific test to determine whether or not the wart-causing catalyst was present.”	Incorrect. This is sound advice, but not appropriate for an analysis essay as it fails to address the author’s conclusion from the information given. Rather than pointing out the best way to arrive at a separate conclusion, a stronger example would analyze the logic the author used to arrive at the present conclusion.
E. None of these examples are appropriate.	Incorrect. One example is superior to the others.

The Usual Suspects: Common Logical Fallacies

(Much of this content is identical to the Critical Reasoning section).

There are seven logical errors that commonly appear in the essay questions. When writing your essay argument, explicitly identify the logical flaws. These flaws also tend to occur in the critical reasoning section of the Verbal GMAT, so your preparation here will benefit you when taking that section.

1. Circular Reasoning

Here, an unsubstantiated assertion is used to justify another unsubstantiated assertion, which is used to justify the first statement. For instance, Joe and Fred show up at an exclusive club. When asked if they are members, Joe says "I'll vouch for Fred." When Joe is asked for evidence that he's a member, Fred says, "I'll vouch for him."

2. The Fallacy of the Biased Sample

The Fallacy of the Biased Sample is committed whenever the data for a statistical inference is drawn from a sample that is not representative of the population under consideration. The data used to make a generalization are drawn from a group that does not represent the whole.

The following argument commits a Fallacy of the Biased Sample:

ln a recent survey conducted by Wall Street Weekly, 80% of the respondents indicated their strong disapproval of increased capital gains taxes. This survey clearly shows that increased capital gains taxes will meet with strong opposition from the electorate.

The data for the inference in this argument are drawn from a sample that is not representative of the entire electorate. Since the survey was conducted on people who invest, not all members of the electorate have an equal chance of being included in the sample. Moreover, people who read about investing are more likely to have an opinion on the topic of taxes on investments that differs from the opinion of the population at large.


3.Fallacy of the Insufficient Sample

The Fallacy of the Insufficient Sample is committed whenever an inadequate sample is used to justify the conclusion drawn.

The following argument commits a Fallacy of the Insufficient Sample:

I have worked with three people from New York City and found them to be obnoxious, pushy and rude. It is obvious that people from New York City have a bad attitude.

The data for the inference in this argument are insufficient to support the conclusion. Three observations of three people are not sufficient to support a conclusion about the entire population of a city.

4. Ad hominem

One of the most often-employed fallacies, ad hominen means "to the man" and indicates an attack made on a person rather than on the statements that person has made. An example is: "Don't listen to my opponent, he's a homosexual."

5. Fallacy of Faulty Analogy       

Reasoning by analogy makes an unsubstantiated assumption when comparing two similar things. The fallacy of faulty analogy assumes that since two things are alike in many ways, they will share other traits in common. Faulty Analogy arguments conclude that one similarity results in another, when in fact, there can be no way of inferring this extra similarity.

The following is an example of a Fallacy of Faulty Analogy:

Ted and Jim excel at both football and basketball. Since Ted is also a track star, Jim likely also excels at track.

In this example, numerous similarities between Ted and Jim are taken as the basis for the inference that they share additional traits.

6. Straw Man

Here, the speaker attributes an argument to an opponent, and that argument does not represent the opponent's true position. For instance, a political candidate might charge that his opponent "wants to let all prisoners go free," when in fact his opponent simply favors a highly limited furlough system. The person is portrayed as someone he is not.

7. The "After This, Therefore, Because of This" Fallacy (Post hoc ergo propter hoc)

This is a "false cause" fallacy in which something is associated with something else because of mere proximity of time. One often encounters, such as in news stories, people assuming that because one thing happened after another, the first caused it, as with, "I touched a toad; I have a wart; the toad caused the wart." The error in the arguments that commit this fallacy is that their conclusions are simply claims and are insufficiently substantiated by the evidence.

Here are two examples of the After This, Therefore Because of This Fallacy:

Ten minutes after walking into the auditorium, I began to feel sick to
my stomach. There must have been something in the air in that building that caused my nausea.

The stock market declined shortly after the election of the president,
thus indicating the lack of confidence the business community has in the new administration.

In the first example, a causal connection is posited between two events simply on the basis of one occurring before the other. Without further evidence to support it, the causal claim based on the correlation is premature.

The second example is typical of modern news reporting. The only evidence offered in this argument to support the implicit causal claim that the decline in the stock market was caused by the election of the president is that the election preceded the decline. While this may have been a causal factor in the decline of the stock market, to argue that it is the main cause without additional information is to commit the After This, Therefore, Because of This Fallacy.

8. The Either-Or Thinking

This is the so-called black-or-white fallacy. Essentially it says, "Either you believe what I'm saying or you must believe exactly the opposite." Here is an example of the black-or-white fallacy:

Since you don't believe that the earth is teetering on the edge of destruction, you must believe that pollution and other adverse effects that man has on the environment are of no concern whatsoever.

The argument above assumes that only two possible alternatives are open to us. There is no room for a middle ground.

9. The "All Things are Equal" Fallacy

This fallacy is committed when background conditions are assumed, without justification, to have remained the same at different times/locations. In most instances, this is an unwarranted assumption for the simple reason that things rarely remain the same over extended periods, and things rarely remain the same from place to place.

The last Democratic Party winner of the New Hampshire primary won the general election. This year, the winner of the New Hampshire primary will win the general election.

The assumption operative in this argument is that nothing has changed since the last primary. No evidence or justification is offered for this assumption.

10. The Fallacy of Equivocation

The Fallacy of Equivocation occurs when a word or phrase with more than one meaning is employed in different meanings throughout the argument.

"Every society is, of course, repressive to some extent. As Sigmund Freud pointed out, repression is the price we pay for civilization." (John P. Roche, political columnist)

In this example, the word repression is used in two completely different contexts. "Repression" in Freud's mind meant restricting sexual and psychological desires. "Repression" in the second context does not mean repression of individual desires, but government restriction of individual liberties, such as in a totalitarian state.

11. Non Sequitur

This means "does not follow," which is short for: the conclusion does not follow from the premise. To say, "The house is white; therefore, it must be big" is an example. The house may be big but there is no intrinsic connection with its being white.

12. Argument ad populum

A group of kindergartners is studying a frog, trying to determine its sex. "I wonder if it's a boy frog or a girl frog," says one student. "I know how we can tell!" pipes up another. "All right, how?" asks the teacher, resigned to the worst. Beams the child: "We can vote."

This is argumentum ad populum, the belief that truth can be determined by more or less putting it to a vote. Democracy is a very nice thing, but it doesn't determine truth. Polls are good for telling you what people think, not whether those thoughts are correct.
 
 

	Common Student Errors We've graded essays from thousands of students and we see recurring errors time and time again. The most common error on the Analysis of Argument essay is "Splitting Hairs." Splitting Hairs refers to trying to dissect errors that do not fall into the categories listed here. Remember that all Analysis of Argument questions have SERIOUS errors. The danger is that you could get distracted on a minor issue and miss the serious errors that the E-rater and the grader want to see. Here is an example: A company is cutting unneeded employees to cut costs and boost profitability. Is this a wise strategy? Splitting Hairs: What if the employees refuse to go? What if the employees are actually volunteers? What if the employees are the company's biggest customers? etc..

ESSAY STRUCTURE

As with the Issue essay, there is no single "correct" way to organize an Argument essay.

Introductory Paragraph (2-4 sentences)

Try to accomplish three goals in your introductory paragraph:

• Briefly restate the argument in your own words.
  
• Briefly trace the argument's line of reasoning.
  
• Indicate the extent to which the argument is logically convincing.
  
• If possible, sum up your arguments in one sentence (or two brief sentences).
  

The following is a sample template for the first paragraph that accomplishes these goals:

The author concludes that____________, because ________. The author's line of reasoning is that ______________. This argument is unconvincing for several reasons; it is____________ and it uses _____________.

First Body Paragraph (3-5 sentences)

In the first body paragraph, your goal is to critique one of the following:

• The reasoning of the argument
  
• One of the premises of the argument
  
• One of the assumptions of the argument

The following is a sample template for this paragraph that accomplishes this goal:

First of all, ____________________________ is based upon the questionable assumption ________________________________. That _______________,
however, _________________. Moreover, ________________________.

Second Body Paragraph (3-4 sentences)

The purpose of the second paragraph is to address one of the following:

• The reasoning of the argument
  
• One of the premises of the argument
  
• One of the assumptions of the argument

The following is a sample template for this paragraph that accomplishes this goal:

Secondly, the author assumes that_________________________.
However, __________________________. It seems equally reasonable to assume that____________________.

Third (and optional Fourth) Body Paragraph

In this paragraph, your goal is to critique one of the following:

• The reasoning of the argument
  
• One of the premises of the argument
  
• One of the assumptions of the argument
  
  

The following is a sample template for this paragraph that accomplishes this goal:

Finally, _______________________________________. The author fails to consider__________________________________. For example, __________________. Because the author's argument _________________.

Final Paragraph (2-3 sentences)

In the final paragraph, your goals are to:

• Summarize your critique of the argument
  
• State the main point of your essay

The final paragraph is not the place to introduce new arguments or issues. Sample template:

In sum, I agree that______________________. However, ____________________; on balance, _____________________.


The numbers of sentences indicated for each paragraph are guidelines, not hard-and-fast rules. You may choose to say more or less than our suggested paragraph length, but stay within a reasonable proximity to our templates to ensure that you please the E-rater.

	Do not be a Parrot The transitional phrases used here are purposely simplistic; do not simply "parrot" them word-for-word in your essay or adopt a fill-in the blank approach. If you do, your essay might appear stilted or contrived.

How to write a 300-word essay in 30 minutes

Do not dive right in. If you begin writing immediately you will likely find it difficult to follow your critique all the way through without making mistakes in organization. Instead, take time to think about what you will be writing and create an outline first.

Here is a basic breakdown of how to use your time:

1. Dissect argument (3-4 minutes)
2. Select your points (4-5 minutes)
3. Outline (about 1 minute)
4. Type essay (18-20 minutes)
5. Proofread (2-3 minutes)

PART 1: Thinking about the essay

Let's see how to do steps 1 and 2 on a sample essay question:

The problem of poorly trained police officers that has plagued New York City should become less serious in the future. The City has initiated comprehensive guidelines that oblige police officers in multiculturalism and proper ways to deal with the city's ethnic groups.

Explain how logically persuasive you find this argument. In discussing your viewpoint, analyze the argument's line of reasoning and its use of evidence. Also explain what, if anything, would make the argument more valid and convincing or help you to better evaluate its conclusion.

Step 1: Dissect the issue/argument (2 minutes)

What is the topic and scope of the argument?

Topic: the problem of poorly trained police officers

Scope: a given solution, centering on mandatory classes

The argument's conclusion?

The problem of poorly trained police officers that has plagued New York City should become less serious in the future.

 

What's the evidence?

The City has initiated comprehensive guidelines that oblige police officers in multiculturalism and proper ways to deal with the city's ethnic groups.

Arguments typically will be structured in one of two ways:

1) conclusion… because…. evidence

2) evidence…. therefore…. conclusion

Summarize the argument:

The problem of poor police officers will become less serious…

(conclusion)

multiculturalism training

(evidence)

How does the argument use its evidence?

It uses evidence of multiculturalism training as evidence to conclude that future improvement is likely.

Step 2: Select the points you will make (5 minutes)

Does the argument make any assumptions? That is, are there gaps between evidence and conclusion?

1. Multiculturalism training will improve the current situation
2. The present police force has poor training in multicultural issues
3. The current police officers in the field will go back for retraining.

Under what circumstances would these assumptions be valid?

1. Evidence making it clear that the present police officers have not already had multicultural training.
2. Evidence showing that multicultural training makes better police officers.
3. Evidence showing that untrained police officers will not be teaching in the future.
   

PART 2: Writing the essay


Step 3: Organize (1 minute)

Create an outline. You may even sketch it into the pages provided to plan the spatial aspects of your essay: look and length.

a. State a clear thesis for the essay.
b. Make each heading correspond to a paragraph.
c. Make sure that there are at least five paragraphs.
d. Make sure that each heading corresponds to a topic sentence.
e. Be sure that the beginning and ending paragraphs tie the essay together. These should introduce and sum up the main ideas, respectively.

 

Step 4: Type your essay (20 minutes)

Write your paragraphs in the essay with great care.

a. Each paragraph should have a topic sentence, which relates to the central idea of the entire essay.

b. The content of each paragraph should support the idea in the topic sentence (4a) above. For each paragraph, state an idea as the topic sentence and then give examples to support the idea or explain the idea completely. Make sure you are constantly referring to this central idea, and not becoming involved in peripheral arguments.

Step 5: Proofread the essay (2 minutes)

Make sure your "key" words, transitional phrases, major points, and examples, are properly spelled so that the E-rater can identify them properly and know that you have a well written essay.

What the E-rater Grades

The E-rater is a "bot," or a distant cousin of search engine spiders used to analyze and read web pages. The E-rater will read your essays and look for phrases that indicate competent reasoning.

The E-rater uses a stored battery of hundreds of graded essays for each of the 280 essay questions (this is partly why GMAT essays haven't changed in years; to do so would require re-programming the E-rater). The E-rater has sample 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, and 6 score essays for each topic. The E-rater will evaluate your essay in terms of the stored essays in its database. If the essay you wrote resembles the stored "6" essays in the E-rater's database, you will get that score. If your essay better resembles the "5s" in the database, you will get a "5" from the E-rater.

That is why it is so important to read the our 20 sample essays. You will see how well-written arguments are structured and you will learn the proper style necessary to impress both the E-rater and the human grader.

What the E-rater doesn't grade

The E-rater cannot detect certain things, such as humor, spelling errors or grammar. It analyzes structure through the use of transitional phrases, paragraph changes, etc. It evaluates content by comparing your score to that of other students. If you have a brilliant argument that uses an unusual argument style, the E-rater will not detect this style.

The E-rater does, however, detect spelling and grammar indirectly. If your transition phrases and logical identifiers (e.g., "therefore", "for example") are not properly spelled, the E-rater will not detect them. Since the E-rater uses the presence of such transitional phrases as an indicator of effective writing, you are indirectly penalized if they are not spelled correctly.

Does the E-rater impact human graders?

The E-rater potentially puts pressure on human graders. Human graders will create problems if they constantly disagree with the E-rater and force a third, additional grader to look over the essay (this raises costs). In this way, the E-rater acts as a managerial tool to double-check graders and keep them in line. The bottom line: don't rely on your essay being appealing to the human grader. There is no guarantee that the grader will give you a high grade to counter a low E-rater grade. Try to follow the E-rater rules.

What are the implications for the GMAT student?

On the Issue Essay:

You should not try any bold or original approaches in your essay. The essay should be written in a simple and organized fashion. If you write a boldly original piece, do not rely on the human grader to acknowledge the quality of your writing. This may not be the place to expound on how your master's thesis ties in with your GMAT essay.

On the Argument Essay:

The E-rater makes more sense on the Argument Essay because it is able to tell whether you have identified the argument's logical flaw. The E-rater stores hundreds of essays for each essay question and you should use keywords that correspond the stored "6" essays. When you have identified the logical flaws in the essay questions, (use our "usual suspects" section to identify logical flaws), make sure to describe the logical flaws. This way the E-rater can detect that you have identified the correct logical flaws.

Pleasing the E-rater:

1. Make your essay highly rigid in structure. Make it look, in its organization, like other 5 and 6 essays.
2. Clearly demarcate sections using phrases such as "for example", "therefore", etc.
3. Use qualifiers judiciously. The E-rater will associate careful use of qualifiers with high scorers.
4. Read our 20 Real Essays to get a flavor for how "6" score writing is done.
5. Use the exact terminology we use in the Usual Suspects section to identify logical reasoning flaws in the Argument section.
   
   

Errors that will ruin your score with the E-rater:

1. Write an essay in a unique and creative fashion. The E-rater will be evaluating you relative to other writers, so a unique argument structure will not appear standard and will always backfire.

2. Misspell key phrases, such as "for example" and "therefore."The E-rater will not pick up the spelling errors and will assume that you did not use transition phrases.

3. Throw in jokes and other unnecessary commentary. The E-rater will not detect the meaning behind your writing, only its structure, so making clever comments will not raise your score.

4. Use unusual references that no other business school student would use. The E-rater uses other scorers as a template, based on how well you resemble other scorers. On the Analysis of Issue question, if you do use unusual examples, also use concept keywords and a tight structure.

5. Avoid or overuse qualifiers such as "likely", "should", etc. Some of the best essay writers use qualifiers, which means the high score essays in the E-rater's database will be filled with essays saturated with qualifiers. However, do not overuse qualifiers or they will dilute your essay.

6. Use a unique and clever rhetorical device that spices up your essay. The E-rater cannot detect cleverness and may find an essay like this confusing, redundant or disorganized.

7. Follow Steve Jobs' clever advertising campaign for Apple "Think Different." For the AWA, it is "Think the Same." You want to write as "6" scorers write. The Analysis of Issue section, in particular, is an exercise in conformity. Write opinions in the mainstream of intellectual thought. You may have compelling evidence about the role of UFOs in our daily lives, but your GMAT essay is not the place to introduce this startling news to the world.

How international students should tackle the AWA and the E-rater.

The conventions for the AWA can be summarized in a single statement: written English requires that each paragraph be developed either directly away from a topic (or thesis) sentence or directly towards a topic (or thesis) sentence. Writers in English have less freedom to wander from the main point of their discourse than writers in other languages. English writing style must be direct and to the point even though it is necessary to support each main idea with examples, explanations, and illustrations. The thesis (or topic sentence) must contain the germ of the idea that permeates the entire paragraph. Each example or illustration must be connected to that idea with transitional markers such as for example, thus, or moreover.

The E-rater speaks "American."

Your essays should be written in "American", not "English." Phrases that are more commonly spoken in English (indeed, hence, midst, "do the needful," etc.) are less common in an American writing style. Phrases that are commonly spoken in English are unlikely to be picked up by the E-rater, which picks up phrases used among high scorers (who are overwhelmingly American).

Students from the UK, Hong Kong, India and other Commonwealth nations should adjust their syntax, style, and language to better suit the flavor of English used in America, as this is the language of the E-rater. Avoid any local jargon and, particularly, any unusual transitional phrases (e.g., "heretofore"). Got that mate? In addition, the human graders are overwhelmingly American and will have an easier time with arguments written in American.

Beware of words that have a non-American spelling:
"centre" = center
"organisation"= organization
"analyse" = analyze

The best solution to writing in the appropriate style is to read all of our sample essays. You should also familiarize yourself with American scholarly journals to see how American writers structure arguments.

Once you have mastered the material in the previous chapters and have an overall idea of what you want to say in your essay, you can focus on the best way to express it. This part of the AWA Essay Guide will help you develop the skills you need to create well-developed and well-written essays.

We have divided the lessons for writing into two parts:

• Writing Style: learn to be clear, concise and compelling.
  
  
• Grammar Rules: learn to use grammar appropriately.

The Writing Style section is divided into 10 categories :
		5a(1): Fill Sentences
		5a(2): Be concise
		5a(3): Qualification
		5a(4): Start Strong
		5a(5): Active Voice
		5a(6): Self-Reference
		5a(7): Redundancy
		5a(8): Vague
		5a(9): Cliche
		5a(10): Jargon

Streamline your essay by avoiding unnecessary sentences.

• Avoid sentences that do not advance your argument.
  
• Avoid asking a question only to answer it.
  
• Avoid sentences that announce that you are shifting the topic. Use transitional phrases instead of writing sentences to change your subject.

FILL: Who should be the next president? I think Mike Dukakis should give it another try.

TO THE POINT: Mike Dukakis should make a second bid for the presidency.

Exercise 1: Avoid "fill" sentences that do not serve a purpose.

Condense the two-sentence groups into one, direct sentence.

1. Who was Abraham Lincoln? He was a President of the United States.

2. Patton was a famous general. He was renowned for his ability to surprise the enemy.

3. The twister destroyed three city blocks. Many buildings collapsed because of the twister.

Answers below:

 

Answers

1. Abraham Lincoln was President of the United States.

2. General Patton was famous for his ability to surprise the enemy.

3. Many buildings were destroyed by the twister that destroyed three city blocks.

Directness and clarity are valued over wordiness on the GMAT. Do not use several words when one will work just as well. Many writers tend to add excessive phrases like "take into consideration" in order to sound scholarly. This only makes the text sound inflated and perhaps pretentious.

WORDY: I am of the opinion that the said managers should be admonished for their utilization of customer response services.

CONCISE: We should tell the managers to improve customer service.

Exercise 2: Wordy Phrases

Shorten the sentences below to make them as concise as possible. (see answers)

1. This internet company is not prepared to expand at this point in time.

2. In light of the fact that Roger has worked with much effort and diligence to build this site, it would be a smart move to give him the contract.

3. The airline has a problem with always having arrivals that come at least an hour late, despite the fact that the leaders of the airline promise that promptness is a goal that has a high priority for all the employees involved.

4. In spite of the fact that she only has a little bit of experience in photography right now, she will probably do well in the future because she has a great deal of motivation to succeed in her chosen profession.

5. The United States is not in a position to spend more money to alleviate the suffering of the people of other countries considering the problems of its own citizens.

see answers below

Answers

1. The internet company is not prepared to expand now.

2. Since Roger has worked for this site so carefully, we should award him the contract.

3. Flights are always at least an hour late on this airline, though its leaders promise that promptness is a high priority for all its employees.

4. Although she is inexperienced in photography, she will probably succeed because she is motivated.

5. The United States cannot spend more money to alleviate other countries' suffering when its own citizens suffer.

What is a qualifier?

A qualifier is a word or phrase that tempers the language nearby. Words like fairly, rather, somewhat, and relatively, and expressions like seems to be, a little, and a certain amount of limit the severity of other words or phrases they modify.

Why use qualifiers?

Writing an Analysis of Issue essay is like walking a tight rope. You must be persuasive about your argument, yet you cannot be excessively one-sided. There are no clear-cut answers to Analysis of Issue questions, so do not overstate your case. To express that you are reasonable, sporadically use qualifiers in your essay. Qualifiers show that you are conscious of the nuances of the issue at hand and that you understand both sides of it.

Be careful!

As useful as qualifiers are, excessive qualification will dilute your argument and weaken the essay.

WORDY: The Hess spy case was a rather serious breach of national security and likely helped the Soviets.

CONCISE: The Hess spy case breached national security and helped the Soviets.

Too many qualifiers in the first sentence make it vague and confusing. Remember, you want to be clear about what you are saying, just not unreasonably opinionated.

Clear up the following sentences by eliminating excessive qualifiers.

1. You yourself are the very best person to decide what you should do for a living.

2. It is possible that the author overstates his case somewhat.

3. The president perhaps should use a certain amount of diplomacy before he resorts to force.

4. In Italy, I found about the best food I have ever eaten.

5. Needless to say, children should be taught to cooperate at home and in school.

 

 

Answers:

1. You are the best person to decide what you should do for a living.

2. The author overstates his case somewhat.

3. The president should use diplomacy before he resorts to force.

4. In Italy I found the best food I have ever eaten.

5. Children should be taught to cooperate at home and in school.

If there's no need to say it, don't!

Try not to begin a sentence with This, Here is, There is, There are, or It is. These roundabout expressions indicate distance from your position and make your statement less definitive. Weak openings usually result from writing before you think - hedging until you figure out what you want to say.


WEAK: There are many ways in which we can change our current monetary system.

STRONG: Our monetary system can be changed. 


WEAK: Here is how we can make a change: create ways to make counterfeiting more difficult.

STRONG: We should invest in anti-counterfeiting methods.


WEAK: This serious situation ought to be attended to right away.

STRONG: The financial crisis should be attended to right away.

Passive vs. Active

PASSIVE: The assignment was completed by Joe in record time.

ACTIVE: Joe completed the assignment in record time.

Active voice is the preferred essay writing style for the GMAT. If possible you should always use the active voice, since it is more direct and shows action and intent. Statements made in the passive voice are weak because it is difficult to tell who or what is responsible for an action.

The passive voice does have value under certain circumstances. For instance, if you want to express something without assigning blame or if there is a question of responsibility. For example: "collateral damage has taken place". The sentence blames no one and does not assign who actually did it.

How is the essay graded?

Both the E-rater and the human grader can detect the passive voice and using it will lower your score. Admissions officers also frown on the passive voice.

International students:

Certain languages, such as French, use more of a passive voice. Be careful to adjust your style.

Exercises: rewrite the sentences below in active voice.

1. Garbage collectors should be generously rewarded for their dirty, smelly labors.

2. The conditions of the contract agreement were ironed out minutes before the strike deadline.

3. The minutes of the City Council meeting should be taken by the city clerk.

4. With sugar, water, or salt, many ailments contracted in less developed countries could be treated.

5. Test results were distributed with no concern for confidentiality.





6.The report was compiled by a number of field anthropologists and marriage experts.

 

 

Answers:

1. Incorrect: Garbage collectors should be generously rewarded for their dirty, smelly labors.

Correct: City government should generously reward garbage collectors for their dirty, smelly labors.

2. Incorrect: The conditions of the contract agreement were ironed out minutes before the strike deadline.

Correct: Negotiators ironed out the conditions of the contract agreement minutes before the strike deadline.

3. Incorrect: The minutes of the City Council meeting should be taken by the city clerk.

Correct: The city clerk should take the minutes of the City Council meeting.

4. Incorrect: With sugar, water, or salt, many ailments contracted in less developed countries could be treated.

Correct: With sugar, water, or salt, doctors can treat many of the ailments that citizens of less developed countries contract.

5. Incorrect: Test results were distributed with no concern for confidentiality.

Correct: The teacher distributed test results with no concern for confidentiality.

6. Incorrect: The report was compiled by a number of field anthropologists and marriage experts.

Correct: A number of field anthropologists and marriage experts compiled the report.

Essay writers should avoid unnecessary phrases such as, "I believe," "I feel," and "in my opinion." The grader knows whose opinion is being expressed and he or she does not need to be reminded.

WEAK: I am of the opinion that excessive self-reference may add a level of pomposity to an otherwise effective essay.

FORCEFUL: Excessive self-reference may add a level of pomposity to an otherwise effective essay.

Your statements are stronger and more believable when you say them with conviction and do not use self-reference. They appear more professional this way.

Self-reference, like qualification, is effective when used sparingly.

Exercise: Restructure these sentences to remove the self-reference.

1. I must emphasize that I am not saying the author does not have a point.

2. If I were a college president, I would implement several specific reforms to combat apathy.

3. It is my belief that either alternative would prove disastrous.

Answers

1. The author has a point.

2. College presidents should implement several specific reforms to combat apathy.

3. Either alternative would prove disastrous.

Redundancy is the unnecessary repetition of an idea. For example, saying "a beginner lacking experience" is redundant. The word beginner implies lack of experience. You can eliminate redundant words or phrases without changing the meaning of the sentence. Watch out for words that add nothing to the sense of the sentence, because redundancy takes away from the clarity and conviction of a statement.

Here are some common redundancies:

Redundant Phrase	Concise Phrase
1. refer back	to
2. Few in number	few
3. Small-sized	small
4. Grouped together	grouped
5. In my own personal opinion	in my opinion
6. End result	result
7. Serious crisis	crisis
8. New initiatives	initiatives

Redundancy often results from carelessness, but you may easily eliminate redundant elements when proofreading.

Exercise: Proofread these sentences for redundancy:

1. Those who can follow directions are few in number.

2. She has deliberately chosen to change careers.

3. Dialogue opens up many doors to compromise.

4. The ultimate conclusion is that environmental and economic concerns are intertwined.

Answers

1. Few people can follow directions.

2. She has chosen to change careers.

3. Dialogue opens many doors to compromise.

4. The conclusion is that environmental and economic concerns are intertwined.

Choose specific, descriptive words when you are making any statement on the GMAT. Vague language weakens your writing because it forces the reader to guess what you mean instead of concentrating fully on your ideas and style.

WEAK: Mr. Brown is highly educated.
FORCEFUL: Mr. Brown has a master's degree in business administration.

WEAK: She is a great communicator.
FORCEFUL: She speaks persuasively.

Notice that sometimes to be more specific and concrete, you will have to use more words than you may otherwise with vague language (as in the first example). This principle is not in conflict with the general objective of writing concisely. Being concise may mean eliminating unnecessary words. Avoiding vagueness may mean adding necessary words to illustrate your point.

Edit these sentences by reducing the vague language:

1. The principal told John that he should not even think about coming back to school until he changed his ways.

2. The police detective had to seek the permission of the lawyer to question the suspect.

3. Thousands of species of animals were destroyed when the last ice age occurred.

 

4. The secretary was unable to complete the task that had been assigned.

 

Answers

1. The principal told John that he could not return to school until his behavior improved.

2. The police detective had to ask the lawyer for permission to question the suspect.

3. Thousands of animal species were destroyed in the last ice age.

4. The secretary was unable to type the document.

Clichés are overused expressions, expressions that may once have seemed colorful and powerful, but are now dull and worn out. Time, pressure, and anxiety may cause you to lose focus, and that is when clichés may slip into your writing. Reliance on clichés suggests that you are a lazy thinker. Keep them out of your essay by thinking ahead and proofreading.

WEAK: Performance in a crisis is the acid test for a leader.

FORCEFUL: Performance in a crisis is the best indicator of a leader's abilities.

Putting a cliché in quotation marks in order to indicate your distance from the cliché does not strengthen the sentence. If anything, it just makes weak writing more noticeable. Take notice of whether or not you use clichés. If you do, ask yourself if you could substitute more specific language for the cliché.

International Students: Avoid regional expressions. Students from Britain and the Commonwealth nations should particularly beware of using local expressions that are not used in America.

Edit these sentences to eliminate the clichés:

Exercises

1. You have to take this new fad with a grain of salt.

2. The politician reminds me of Abraham Lincoln: He's like a diamond in the rough.

3. A ballpark estimate of the number of fans in the stadium would be 120,000.

 

Answers

1. You need not take this new fad very seriously; it will surely pass.

2. The politician reminds me of Abraham Lincoln with his rough appearance and warm heart.

3. I estimate that 120,000 fans were in the stadium.

Jargon includes two categories of words that you should avoid. The first is the specialized vocabulary of a particular group, such as doctors, lawyers, or baseball coaches. Second is the overly inflated or complex language that burdens many student essays. You will not impress anyone with big words that do not fit the tone or context of your essay, especially if you misuse them.

If you are not certain of a word's meaning or appropriateness, leave it out. An appropriate word, even a simple one, will add impact to your argument. Ask yourself, "Would a reader in a different field be able to understand exactly what I mean from the words I've chosen?" "Is there any way that I can say the same thing more simply?"

MBA candidates are particularly prone to using MBA jargon. When you go to business school, you will find that MBAs have a language of their own with words such as "incentivize" or "M & A". Indeed, you will find that a large part of the lasting benefit of business school is learning the proper MBA language to help you better relate to the MBAs who dominate the business world. For now, however, the GMAT is not the place for MBA jargon or any jargon for that matter.

Replace jargon with the words in parentheses:

• optimize (make most efficient/make most favorable
• time frame (length, duration)
• utilize (use)
• finalize (end, complete)
• conceptualize (imagine, think)
• maximize (get the most)
• originate (start, begin)
• facilitate (help, speed up)
• bottom line (profits)
• parameter (boundary, limit)
• user-friendly (responsive, flexible, easy-to-understand)
• input/output (considerations/results)
• blindside (bypass)
• downside (worst possible outcome)
• ongoing (continuing)
  

Your essay graders may not be up to date on the latest trendy abbreviations. Also avoid lazy and sloppy statements like "top-line/bottom line". Slashes and numbered items are completely inappropriate. You are not making a business presentation or writing a marketing plan; you are writing a formal essay to graders, many of whom were English majors. Graders are quickly annoyed by trite phrases.

Read the following paragraph from an actual essay (unedited) submitted to 800score.com's essay grading service to get a feel for what jargon sounds like.

Profit maximization is the core activity of any progressive and professional company of the world today. The success of the CEO is rated by the fact in his / her tenure how much ROC employed or what was his net contribution to the top-line / bottom-line of the company and hence the shareholder value. The dilemma of an organization to be termed profitable and successful emanates by the fact that what is the turn-over and what is the revenue of the company, hence all the functions of an organization is aimed at taking up activity which will make more profit.

Evaluate the following sentences for jargon.

1. With reference to the poem, I submit that the second and third stanzas connote a certain despair.

 

2. Allow me to elucidate my position: This horse is the epitome, the very quintessence of equine excellence.

Answers:

1. When the poet wrote the second and third stanzas, he must have felt despair.

2. This is a fine horse.

This section covers common grammar and syntax rules that come up on the test.

If your English skills are strong, skim through most of the material.

We suggest you review the seven common error types in the Sentence Correction section.

The Writing Style section is divided into 8 categories :     5b(5): Voice Shifting     5b(6): Colloquialisms     5b(7): Sentences     5b(8): Commas     5b(9): Semicolons     5b(10): Colons     5b(11): Using Hyphens Correctly     5b(12): The Apostrophe

Since you are asked to write an explanatory essay, an occasional self-reference may be appropriate. Use it sparingly and only when there is no other way to explain what you mean. You may call yourself "I" as long as you keep the number of first-person pronouns to a minimum. Less egocentric ways of referring to the narrator include "we" and "one."

• In my lifetime, I have seen many challenges to the principle of free speech.
  
• We can see...
  
• One must admit...

The method of self-reference you select is called the narrative voice of your essay. Any of the above narrative voices is acceptable. Nevertheless, whichever one you choose, you must be careful not to shift narrative voice in your essay.

If you use "I" in the first sentence, for example, do not use "we" in a later sentence.

INCORRECT: In my lifetime, I have seen many challenges to the principle of free speech. We can see how a free society can get too complacent when free speech is taken for granted.

It is likewise wrong to shift from "you" to "one"

INCORRECT: Just by following the news, you can readily see how politicians have a vested interest in pleasing powerful interest groups. But one should not generalize about this tendency.

Conversational speech is filled with slang and colloquial expressions. However, you should avoid slang on the GMAT analytical writing assessment. Slang terms and colloquialisms can be confusing to the reader, since these expressions are not universally understood. Even worse, such informal writing may give readers the impression that you are poorly educated or arrogant.

INAPPROPRIATE: He is really into gardening.

CORRECT: He enjoys gardening.

 

INAPPROPRIATE: She plays a wicked game of tennis.

CORRECT: She excels in tennis.

Beware of two common sentence-writing errors:

Sentence fragment: a statement with no independent clause 

Run-on sentence: two or more independent clauses that are improperly connected


Sentence Fragments

Every sentence in formal writing must have an independent clause: a clause that expresses a complete thought and can stand alone. Dependent clauses do not express a complete thought and cannot stand alone.

Independent Clause: Brian must study for many hours.

This clause is independent because it expresses a full thought, which is a complete sentence.

Dependent Clause: since school is so difficult.

This clause is not a complete thought. It contains the subordinate conjunction "since," making it unfinished. It needs an independent clause to make a full sentence:

Brian must study for hours since school is so difficult.

Errors are made when a dependent clause is used without an independent one.

Independent clauses contain a subject and a predicate and do not begin with a subordinate conjunction such as:

after	as	while
if	provided that	before
so that	though	where
whenever	whether	than
although	because	unless
in order	since	that

NOTE: Beginning single-clause sentences with coordinate conjunctions such as and, but, or, nor, for is acceptable in moderation, although some readers may object to beginning a sentence with And.

The following examples contain both sentences fragments and solutions. Rewrite these fragments as complete sentences.

INCORRECT: Global warming. That is what the scientists and journalists are worried about this month.

CORRECT:  Global warming is the cause of concern for scientists and journalists this month.

INCORRECT: Seattle is a wonderful place to live. Having mountains, ocean, and forests all within easy driving distance. If you can ignore the rain.

CORRECT: Seattle is a wonderful place to live, with mountains, ocean, and forests all within easy driving distance. However, it certainly does rain often.

INCORRECT: Why do I think the author's position is preposterous? Because he makes generalizations that I know are untrue.

CORRECT: The author's position is preposterous because he makes generalizations that I know are untrue.

Run-on Sentences

Run-on sentences occur when two or more sentences are written as one. Time pressure may cause you to write run-ons. When you proofread your essays, watch out for independent clauses that are not joined with any punctuation or are only joined with a comma.

RUN-ON SENTENCE: Current insurance practices are unfair they discriminate against the people who need insurance most.

You can repair run-on sentences in two ways. First,

1. Use a period to make separate sentences of the independent clauses.

2. Use a conjunction to turn an independent clause into a dependent one and to make explicit how the clauses are related. (This method is usually the more effective.)

CORRECT: Current insurance practices are unfair, in that they discriminate against the people who need insurance most.

One cause of run-on sentences is the misuse of adverbs, such as however, nevertheless, furthermore, likewise, and therefore.

RUN-ON SENTENCE: Current insurance practices are discriminatory, furthermore they make insurance too expensive for the poor.

CORRECT: Current insurance practices are discriminatory. Furthermore, they make insurance too expensive for the poor.

 

Example

However much she tries to act like a Southern belle, she cannot hide her roots. The daughter of a Yankee fisherman, taciturn and always polite.

 

Answer:

Sample Rewrite: However much she tries to act like a Southern belle, she cannot hide her roots. She will always be the daughter of a Yankee fisherman, taciturn and ever polite.

The daughter of a Yankee fisherman is a sentence fragment, since the group of words contains no verb.

THE COMMA

The comma is the most abused punctuation mark. Writers are sometimes so worried about following rules that they forget to pay attention to the way the words sound when spoken. Commas help a reader understand the rhythm of the sentence. If you are having comma problems, say your sentence out loud and listen for natural pauses. The function of a comma is to make the reader pause. The omission of a comma can cause phrases and clauses to crash into one another, thereby confusing the reader.

Commas can influence the meaning of your sentence. Consider the following:

The food tastes terrible, however the cook fixes it.
The food tastes terrible, however, the cook fixes it.

In the first sentence, the food tastes terrible no matter how the cook fixes it. In the second sentence, the food is bad but the cook improves the taste. Again, the comma controls the meaning.

RULES FOR COMMAS

1. Use a comma to separate two independent clauses connected by and, but, or, nor, for.

Bob was usually a quiet man, but he screamed upon entering the room.

The strange man lying under the table appeared to be dead, or just possibly he was only napping.

If the independent clauses are short, you may omit the comma.

The man was still and his foot was bleeding.

His hat was on but his pants were off.

2. Use a comma to separate elements in a list or series.

Bob tried to breathe, to keep from fainting, and to remember his first aid.

Next to the man were a bassoon, a water balloon, and a raccoon.

3. Use a comma to separate introductory phrases and clauses from an independent clause that follows, particularly if the phrase or clause is long.

After catching his breath, Bob squatted next to the man and took his pulse.

When he felt nothing, Bob picked up the bassoon and blew.

Although he had never played a bassoon before, he somehow managed to make beautiful music.

Again, if the introductory phrase is short, you may omit the comma:

When he stopped playing it was dark outside.

4. If the introductory phrase is a gerund, participial, or infinitive phrase, use a comma even if the phrase is short. Otherwise, the reader may be confused:

When Bob began to eat, rats ran across the carpet.
NOT: When Bob began to eat rats ran across the carpet.

5. In a series of adjectives, use a comma if the adjectives could also be separated by and.

The nimble, fat, and furry raccoon began to poke at the water balloon.
(Could be written as: The nimble and fat and furry raccoon...)

If the and doesn't fit, leave out the comma:

The man's white cotton shirt was balled up in a corner.
(Would not write as: The man's white and cotton shirt . .)

If this rule seems confusing, read the sentence aloud. If you make a slight pause between adjectives, put in commas. Otherwise, leave them out. Another test: if you can change the order of the adjectives, insert commas. For example:

The handsome, brilliant scholar
Or: The brilliant, handsome scholar

The frilly party dress
Not: The party frilly dress

6. Use commas to set off clauses, but do not use commas for restrictive clauses. An essential or restrictive clause is one that can't be left out of a sentence. Clauses that don't define can be lifted from the sentence without changing the meaning. Look at these sentences:

Bananas that are green taste tart.

That are green defines which bananas we mean. We cannot remove it.

Bananas, which grow in the tropics, do not need refrigeration.

Which grow in the tropics refers to all bananas. The clause can be lifted from the sentence without changing the meaning.

Let's look at a sentence that you could punctuate either way, depending on the meaning:

The men who were tired and hungry began eating sardines.

who were tired and hungry is a defining clause, telling us which men we mean.

The men, who were tired and hungry, began eating sardines.

who were tired and hungry describes all of the men and doesn't differentiate these men from other men who weren't tired and hungry.

7. Commas should set off words or phrases that interrupt the sentence.

Now then, let's get down to work.

"Save me," he said, before falling down the stairs.

On the other hand, error can lead to revelation.

What the candidate promised, in fact, is impossible to achieve.

Hello, I must be going.

8. Use commas to set off an appositive. An appositive is a noun or pronoun that explains or identifies the noun that precedes it.

Mrs. Daniels, my favorite teacher, is wearing a wig.

Ralphie, the president of the student council, is on probation.

9. Commas go inside quotation marks, never outside:

"I do like the taste of chocolate," she said, "but I am allergic."

Using commas correctly is one way to make your writing clear. Reading your sentences aloud is a good way to find the natural place for commas, as is inspecting your sentences for ambiguity or confusion.

RULES FOR SEMICOLONS

1. Use a semicolon to link two independent clauses.

To give a good party, you must consider the lighting; no one feels comfortable under the bright glare of fluorescent lights.

Note that the two clauses are connected in thought, but are each independent grammatically. A comma with a conjunction can stand in place of the semicolon, like this:

To give a good party, you must consider the lighting, since no one feels comfortable under the bright glare of fluorescent lights.

2. Use a semicolon to separate elements in a list if the elements are long - or if the elements themselves have commas in them.

To get completely ready for your party, you should clean your house; make sure your old, decrepit stereo works; prepare a lot of delicious, strange food; and expect odd, antisocial, and frivolous behavior on the part of your guests.

3. Unlike commas, semicolons belong outside quotation marks.

One man at the party sat in a corner and read "The Adventures of Bob"; he may have been shy, or he may have found "The Adventures of Bob" too exciting to put down.

RULES FOR COLONS

1. Use a colon when making a list, when what precedes the list is an independent clause.

CORRECT: There are four ingredients necessary for a good party: music, lighting, food, and personality.

There are four ingredients can stand alone, so the colon separates it from the list.

Do not use a colon to separate a preposition from its objects or a verb from its complements, since the clause will not be independent.

INCORRECT: My ancestors came from: Poland, Russia, and Ukraine.
      The colon incorrectly separates the preposition from its objects, and leaves My ancestors came from, which is not an independent clause. Instead, the sentence should read:
CORRECT: My ancestors came from Poland, Russia, and Ukraine.


INCORRECT: The boys ran home and ate: cake, cookies, and soda.
     The colon incorrectly separates the verb ate from its complements. The sentence should read:
CORRECT: The boys ran home and ate cake, cookies, and soda.

2. Use a colon after a complete statement to introduce related ideas:

CORRECT: The coffee shop is the best on the block: it has great scones, a full menu, and a great atmosphere.

If, when you are writing your essay, you are in doubt about whether or not you may use a colon, it is best to play it safe and separate your statements with a semi-colon or a period.

A. Use the hyphen with the compound numbers twenty-one through ninety-nine, and with fractions used as adjectives.

CORRECT: Sixty-five students constituted a majority.

CORRECT: A two-thirds vote was necessary to carry the measure.

 

B. Use the hyphen with the prefixes ex, all, and self and with the suffix elect.

CORRECT: The constitution protects against self-incrimination.

CORRECT: The president-elect was invited to chair the meeting.

 

C. Use the hyphen with a compound adjective when it comes before the word it modifies, but not when it comes after the word it modifies.

CORRECT: The no-holds-barred argument continued into the night. The argument continued with no holds barred.

D. Use the hyphen with any prefix used before a proper noun or adjective.

CORRECT: His pro-African sentiments were heartily applauded.

CORRECT: They believed that his activities were un-American.

 

E. Use the dash to indicate an abrupt change of thought. In general, however, formal writing is best when you think out what you want to say in advance and avoid abrupt changes of thought.

CORRECT: The inheritance must cover the entire cost of the proposal-Gail has no other money to invest.

The apostrophe is used to show ownership. Most of the time, it presents no confusion:
Bob's bassoon
The woman's finger
My son's toys

The tricky part is using an apostrophe when the owner is plural.

RULES FOR APOSTROPHES

1. If the plural noun doesn't end in -s, add an apostrophe and -s, as shown above. (This is the easy part.)

the car's axles
the bacteria's growth
the mice's hairballs

2. If the plural noun ends in -s, just add an apostrophe.

the babies' bottoms
the horses' hooves
the politicians' promises

3. If the word is a proper noun that ends in -s, add an apostrophe and an -s. (This is the part people get wrong). Use ONLY with proper nouns. All other plurals should follow the rule above.

Yeats's poem
Ross's riddle
Chris's crisis

An alternate way to express the possessive for proper nouns already ending in -2 is to simply put the apostrophe at the end of the -s.

Yeats' poem
Ross' riddle
Chris' crisis

Look at all of the real AWA questions beforehand:

To beat the competition, you will need to do some brainstorming for all 280 AWA questions. Any of them could appear on your GMAT, so you should spend some time preparing in advance. While there are many possible questions, the good news is there are no surprises. You will be able to review all of the potential questions beforehand.

1. The questions are in Adobe Acrobat (.pdf format). If you do not have Adobe Acrobat you can download it for free click here to download Adobe 5.0.

2. Then, go to 2004_awa_topics. (NOTE: REQUIRES ADOBE ACROBAT 5.0 or better.)

3. After you have downloaded the Acrobat file, print out the 140 Issue questions and the 140 Argument questions.

To review our sample essays (based on 2003 essays):

1. Download 2003_awa_topics

2. Number the questions from 1-10 for Analysis of Argument and 1-10 for the Analysis of Issue. (The Analysis of Issue essays start after the 140 Analysis of Argument questions. The Issue questions start on approximately page 22 of the print out.) We have the answers to those questions here for the first ten essays for both categories.

3. Skim through all of the essay questions. You are guaranteed to see two of these questions on test day, so take quick notes on each of the questions. Then go back and read each one again. Pause for a minute to ponder the topic. At least three or four ideas will probably pop into your mind; jot them down. At this point, don't try to organize your thoughts or commit to a position on the issues.

Comments:

• There is no one "correct" response to any AWA question.
  
• These essays were written in 30-45 minute periods. They represent 5-6 score essays.
  
• We cannot post the actual question. Instead we have used a brief identifying phrase for each question.

Analysis of Argument

#1

#2

#3

#4

#5

#6

#7

#8

#9

#10

These essays are not "perfect" answers, but represent what could be done in a 30-minute period to get a score of 5 or 6.

Analysis of Argument # 1: Olympia Foods

The author argues, using facts from the color-film processing industry's downward trend in cost over 24 years, that Olympic Foods will be able to cut costs and thus maximize profits in the future. The author bases his conclusion on the generalization that organizations learn to reduce costs over time and, since Olympic Foods has 25 years experience in the food processing industry, its costs should have declined considerably. There are two serious flaws in the argument.

First, the argument uses a faulty analogy between the color-film processing industry and the food processing industry. Analogies drawn between the two fields are highly suspect because there are many serious differences. While the film processing industry faces a relatively simple processing challenge, food producers must contend with contamination, transportation and farm production (much more serious challenges). Thus, it is likely much more difficult to wring efficiency improvements in the food industry.

Second, the author uses a sweeping generalization. The author's prediction of margin improvements relies on the optimistic assumption that Olympic Foods' 25 years of experience will automatically result in operational efficiencies. The problem with this is that improvements in processes do not occur automatically over time, they require tremendous effort at continuous improvement and they require potential room for improvement. It is possible Olympic Food has limited room for improvement or lacks the managerial will to improve its operations. Thus, there is no guarantee of improved operational efficiency over time.

The author's argument has two seriously flawed assumptions. The author could strengthen his or her conclusion by providing examples of how the company has learned how to improve its operations over 25 years and implemented those changes.

Analysis of Argument # 2: Centralization of Sales

The argument concludes that the Apogee Company should shut down its field offices and use a centralized location because the company was more profitable when it had a single central location. The argument has two serious flaws.

First, the author commits the "After This, Therefore, Because of This" fallacy where the author assumes that because a decline in profitability occurred after the field offices were created, the field offices were responsible for the decline. However, there may be other factors that could have caused the decline. Could an industry-wide decline, poor management, or poor marketing have caused the decline? Without ruling out other factors or presenting stronger evidence, the author cannot conclusively blame the field offices.

Second, the author assumes that eliminating the field offices would improve profitability by streamlining the management of employees and cutting costs. There is no evidence to support this assumption. Perhaps the field offices cut travel costs from the central office and allowed better management of sales to far-flung clients. The author could support his assumption with cost-cutting and or profit-enhancing strategies.

In summary, to strengthen the conclusion that Apogee should close field offices and centralize, this author must rule out factors other than decentralization that might be affecting current profits negatively and demonstrate how decentralization would cut costs.

Analysis of Argument # 3 : Funding of Arts

The author concludes in this argument that the city should shift some of its arts funding to public television for two reasons. The author argues that public television is being threatened by severe cuts in corporate funding and attendance at the city's art museum has increased proportionately with increases in visual arts program viewing on public television. There are a few problems with this argument.

First, the argument assumes that a correlation proves causality. Simply because there was an increase in television exposure to the visual arts, mainly through public television, the author assumes that this exposure caused a similar increase in local art museum attendance. The author uses the statistical relationship between increased art museum attendance and similar increases in television viewing of visual arts programs to establish causality. However, a statistical correlation does not mean causality, there may be other factors driving the increased art museum attendance, such as new shows, a new wing added to the museum, or a possibl rise in the interest in art in society.

On the other hand, the author makes a fair assumption that television programs have an impact on behavior. This is a common sense assumption. After all, advertisers spend billions of dollars on television ad time because they trust this assumption as well.

In conclusion, the author's reasoning is somewhat persuasive. The author could strengthen his or her argument by eliminating other potential causes that could increase visits to the local art museum.

Analysis of Argument # 4: Declining Revenues and Delays

The report recommends replacing the manager of the purchasing department in response to a relationship between falling revenues and delays in manufacturing. The grounds for this action are that the delays are traced to poor planning in purchasing metals. The cause of the poor planning might be the purchasing manager's lack of knowledge of the properties of metals. The author suggests that the position of purchasing manager should be filled by a scientist from the research division and that the current purchasing manager should be reassigned to the sales department. The report supports this latter recommendation, pointing out that the purchasing manager's background in general business, psychology, and sociology equip him for this new assignment. The report's recommendations have two serious questionable assumptions.

The first problem is that the report fails to establish a causal connection between the falling revenues of the company and the delays in manufacturing. The fact that falling revenues coincide with delays in manufacturing does not necessarily prove that the delays caused the decline in revenue. The report's recommendations are not worthy of consideration if there is no compelling evidence to support the causal connection between these two events.

Second, the report assumes that knowledge of the properties of metals is necessary for planning in purchasing metals. No evidence is stated in the report to support this crucial assumption. Moreover, it is not obvious that such knowledge would be required to perform this task because planning is essentially a logistical function.

The author could strengthen the argument that the manager of the purchasing department be replaced by demonstrating that the falling revenues were a result of the delays in manufacturing. Additionally, the author would have to show that knowledge of the properties of metals would improve planning the purchasing of metals.

Analysis of Argument # 5: Increasing Circulation

The publisher of the Mercury newspaper is suggesting that the newspaper's price be reduced below the price of The Bugle, a competing newspaper. The circulation of the Mercury has declined during the 5-year period following The Bugle's introduction. The publisher believes that lowering the price of The Mercury will increase its readership, thereby increasing profits because a wider readership attracts more advertisers. The publisher's reasoning has two serious problems.

First, although it is obvious that increased circulation would make the paper more attractive to potential advertisers, it is not clear that lowering the subscription price is the most effective way to gain new readers. The publisher assumes that price is the only factor that caused the decline in readership. There is no evidence given to support this claim. In addition, given that The Mercury was the established local paper, it is doubtful that the large-scale drop in circulation would be explained by subscription price alone.

It is possible that other reasons exist for The Mercury's decline in readership. The Bugle could have much better writing and layout than the Mercury. It is also possible that readers may not be satisfied with the news reporting's accuracy, or the balance of local to national/statewide news coverage. Either way, it is unclear that lowering prices will drive up readership.

In conclusion, this argument depends on a simplified assumption about the price of the paper and its popularity. The author could strengthen the argument by discussing other factors beyond cost before concluding that lowering subscription prices will increase circulation and, thereby, increase advertising revenues.

Analysis of Argument # 6: City of Helios

This advertisement for the city of Helios makes several arguments for locating companies in Helios. The advertisement states that Helios is an industrial center and enjoys a lower than average unemployment rate. In addition, the advertisement states that the city is "attempting" to expand its base by attracting companies that focus on technologies. This argument is problematic for three reasons. Moreover, it is argued that efforts are currently underway to expand the economic base of the city by attracting companies that focus on research and development of innovative technologies. This argument is problematic for several reasons.

First, the argument presents no reason to believe that the city is equipped to handle non-manufacturing related businesses. The status of the city as a manufacturing center will likely mean that the city is equipped to handle manufacturing businesses. Its labor supply, energy resources, regulatory environment, support businesses, and infrastructure are likely well suited to manufacturing companies. However, there is no reason to believe, based on the argument, that Helios offers any attractive benefits to technology companies.

In addition, since the city lacks any specific benefit for technology companies, the use of the statement "Helios is attempting its economic base" is a non sequitur in the context of the overall argument. The statement offers no benefit to technology companies to move there other than an expressed interest in attracting those companies. This argument could be strengthened if they actually provided real benefits to technology companies

Another ineffective argument made is that of the city's low employment rate. The low unemployment rate during a recession suggests that the city has a labor shortage. This means that companies moving to the city probably have to pay above average labor rates to attract labor in a tight market.

The advertisement for the city of Helios fails to provide any compelling reason for non-manufacturing businesses in Helios. The low unemployment rate actually suggests that the city is a poor place to locate a business. Based on the advertisement, the only companies that could plausibly benefit from the city are manufacturing companies.

Analysis of Argument # 7: Aspartame or Sugar

The author in this argument is trying to establish that people are better off trying to lose weight with sugar rather than with the artificial sweetener aspartame. This conclusion is based on the assertion that aspartame can indirectly cause weight gain by triggering food cravings, while sugar benefits weight loss by enhancing the body's ability to burn fat. The details of the claim, however, prevent making an effective generalization about aspartame's weight-loss benefits.

The argument states that "high" dosages of aspartame are required to deplete the brain chemicals responsible for registering a sense of being sated, or full. The problem is that "high" dosage is not defined. Is this high dosage reached during normal consumption? Without the dosage defined, it is impossible to determine how often or how significant of a side effect the food craving is.

The second statement, that sugar burns fat, is also qualified and not universally applicable. In this instance, the benefits of sugar only arise after at least 45 minutes of continuous exercise. However, it is a fair assumption that many exercisers will not actually exercise for 45 minutes. Thus, the author cannot make the generalization that all exercisers should prefer aspartame over sugar after exercise.

In conclusion, each of the studies cited in the argument cannot be extended to make a generalization that aspartame is preferable to sugar. Instead, the exercise claim must be qualified by "after 45 minutes" and the dosage indicated by "high" must be defined.

Analysis of Argument # 8: Worker interest

This argument uses a survey of workers to show that workers are indeed interested in management issues. The argument is solely based on a survey of 1200 workers that showed that 79% of the workers surveyed expressed interest in the topics of corporate restructuring and the redesign of worker benefits. This argument has several flaws.

The first objection to this argument is the validity of the survey. The statement is incomplete because it does not adequately describe the conditions of the survey. One issue is the sample. Were the workers chosen for the survey chosen randomly or did they volunteer for the survey? This question is relevant here since apathetic workers would obviously not respond to a survey of worker apathy!

In addition, it is unclear whether the 1200 people used in the survey are representative of the company's employees and are an adequate sample size. Perhaps the 1200 workers are part of a major company with several hundred thousand employees. Or, the workers surveyed may not be representative of the company at large. For example, what if they were part of a management trainee program for workers who wanted to move into management positions?

Aside from any issues relating to the quality of the survey, the argument makes a false generalization about the results of the survey. The survey asks specifically about the worker's interest in corporate restructuring and redesign of benefits programs. These issues could be reasonably construed as worker's issues since they would directly impact worker benefits and job security (restructuring often implies layoffs). Thus, the survey cannot be extended to demonstrate an interest in management issues.

In sum, the conclusion about worker interest in management issues cannot be reasonably drawn from the survey's information. The survey's accuracy is not adequately explained and the survey's results are illogically extended to draw an unsupported generalization.

Analysis of Argument # 9: Consumer demographics

The author argues that department store sales will increase significantly over the next few years because their core market of middle-aged people will increase in size over the next decade. The author uses the statistic that 39 percent of the retail expenditures of middle-aged people are through department stores. The author additionally argues that stores should take advantage of this trend by carrying more products aimed at middle-aged customers. This argument has two serious flaws.

The argument falsely assumes that an increase in middle-aged people will automatically translate into an increase in sales. The argument errs because it does not acknowledge that the younger generation consists of a different population cohort, which may not favor department stores. Indeed, this generation may favor stores, such as the GAP, that became prominent in the 1980s. Thus, the younger generation's preference for non-department store retailers may be a generational phenomenon rather than an age-related issue.

The argument further suggests that department store's inventories should be changed to reflect the tastes of middle-aged Americans. This is problematic because the younger population, although preferring non-department stores, may be growing at a faster rate than the middle-aged Americans and therefore represents a more attractive market. In addition, it is possible, as stated in the prior paragraph, that the younger generation's tastes have indeed changed and that when they age, they will not shop at department stores.

In sum, this argument is not strong as it currently stands. The argument needs more information about the growth rates of the younger market and their tastes.

Analysis of Argument # 10: Funding cuts

The argument states that the state legislature does not have to consider the views of protesting students. The author supports this conclusion by pointing out that only 200 of the 12,000 students actually went to the state capitol to protest the cuts in college programs. The author concludes that since an overwhelming majority of the students did not take part in the survey, they must not be interested in the issue. This argument has two serious flaws.

The author attempts to make a statistical inference from the fact that only 200 out of 12,000 showed up for the rally. This is not a valid statistical survey. If, for example, the students had been randomly surveyed to get a fair sample of the overall population, this would have been a valid survey.

Second, the author uses the fact that 12,000 students stayed on campus or left for winter break to show that they were not concerned about education cuts. In fact, if the protest was during winter break, it suggests a large level of inconvenience for the students to protest the cuts (since many could return home to distant locations). A low turnout does not suggest a low level of interest, but instead implies a high level of organizational opposition since students could be recruited during their vacation time.

As it stands, the argument is not well reasoned. To make it logically acceptable, the author would have to demonstrate that the protesting students had some characteristic in common that biases their views, thereby nullifying their protest as representative of the entire college.

Analysis of Issue

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These essays are not "perfect" answers, but represent what could be done in a 30-minute period to get a score of 5 or 6.

Issue #1: Radio and TV Censorship

The censorship and regulation of broadcast media for offensive material involves a conflict between the freedom of expression and the duty of government to protect its citizenry from potential harm. I believe that our societal interest in preventing the harm that exposure to obscenity produces takes precedence over the freedoms of individual broadcasters.

Firstly, I believe exposure to obscene and offensive language and behavior causes people to mimic such behavior. There is anecdotal and scientific evidence to support this contention.

Secondly, I believe that obscene and offensive behavior is damaging to a society. It weakens moral character and weakens human relationships and it promotes a tendency toward immoral and antisocial behavior. These effects weaken the civil cords that hold a democratic society together.

Some argue that free speech is the basis of a democratic society. However, the founding fathers never intended the constitution to mean an unrestricted license to wanton profanity. Advocates of free expression might also point out difficulties in defining "obscene" or "offensive" language or behavior. But, however difficult it may be to agree on standards, the effort is beneficial insofar as it helps to maintain the civil cords of a democratic society.

In conclusion, the government should take a role in regulating speech, but only speech that is patently offensive. Regulation of media may infringe on freedom of speech, but it is worthwhile if it can restrict the exposure of damaging offensive material.

Issue #2: Energy Sources and International Effort

The statement argues that international leadership is necessary to conserve energy for the future. The passage makes the reasonable assumption that individual nations will not unilaterally cut their energy usage, and that international cooperation is necessary to conserve resources. However, the sub text of the argument, that resources are diminishing and that international regulation is the only way to protect resource availability, may not be valid. This calls into question the legitimacy of the statement.

It is reasonable to expect that many individual nations will act in a rational (self-interested) manner. Some nations, such as the U.S. and the E.U. may cooperate to reduce resource depletion, but rogue nations such as the P.R.C. and North Korea will likely not comply with cuts on a volunteer basis. Thus, an international organization would indeed be necessary to apply sanctions and compel compliance. In this respect, I agree with the argument.

However, the argument is too vague and fails to define (1) what resources are approaching depletion and (2) whether regulation restricting usage is the most effective means of conservation. Oil reserves, for example, have been increasing, not decreasing, over time because improved technology used in drilling has allowed greater access. In addition, if technology can improve access to resources, provide access to renewable resources (such as solar power), and improve conservation (energy efficiency), then regulations that could impede technological advancement could exacerbate the situation. Thus, an international regulatory regime may not be effective at maintaining adequate resource supplies.

In sum, it is likely true that an international regulatory regime would be required to regulate global resource consumption. However, it is unclear that such a regime would be necessary or effective to maintain adequate resource supplies globally.

Issue #3: Flat or Pyramid Organization

The author tries to argue that corporations should use a "flat" structure and eliminate salary grades. This, according to the author, would benefit worker morale and encourage camaraderie. I disagree with the author because it is likely that such a corporate structure would diminish corporate profits and potentially decrease worker morale.

The principal flaw with such a structure is that it fails to incentivize workers and reward them for their own performance. Without individual merit, workers have no self-interest in their own performance and results. In a dynamic business environment, workers must be able to take initiative and effect change. In a flat organizational structure, such behavior would be indirectly discouraged because the risk-taking necessary to catalyze change would not be rewarded. Thus, companies with such a structure would likely have less motivated and entrepreneurial employees.

The speaker also assumes that such a flat structure would increase camaraderie. While it is true that such a structure may reduce envy among employees by reducing inequality, it is not clear that such a structure is conducive to decisive leadership. In an organization where all are equals, there are no leaders. Without leaders, there are no arbiters in times of disagreement or leaders in times of change. Thus, the flat organizational structure may devolve into an anarchistic one.

In sum, the opinion that a "flat" organizational structure conducive to collegiality and cooperation is likely inaccurate. Such a structure would probably reduce profitability and create a chaotic work environment that lacked a decisive decision-making capability.

Note: Is this truly a six essay? Probably not, it fails to provide a real world example or an example from experience.

Issue #4: Power

This quote states that people admire those who show restraint in exercising power. Rather than a sweeping statement, this statement is sometimes true and sometimes not. The statement's truth depends on the context of popular opinion at the time.

The most famous example of a man relinquishing power at the height of his power is George Washington. During his presidency, he could use his fame to take absolute control of the early United States. But unlike Caesar, George Washington did not destroy the republic to become dictator. Instead, he refused much of the power that was being offered to him. This was one of the few times in human history that a man did this (Napoleon certainly did not) and it set a precedent of governmental restraint that continues to this day in the United States. At the time, people around the world were awestruck and the poet Lord Byron romanticized Washington as the "Cincinnatus of the West."

However, another great man, Winston Churchill, lost political power for his restraint. In 1946, Winston Churchill, the brilliant war leader during World War II, lost an election for Prime Minister to his socialist opponents who argued for the nationalization of industries. Churchill could have certainly used his prestige to nationalize industries or offer a host of entitlements to Britain's citizens. Instead, he refused to exercise power in such a way and ended up losing an election to a candidate who argued for much greater use of governmental intervention in the economy.

In conclusion, showing restraint in exercising political power is often admirable and romanticized. However, for a politician, it may be a dangerous and risky move that could endanger their power. In some circumstances it is appropriate, but often politicians must exercise all the power they have at their disposal in order to retain power.

Issue 5: Decision Making in an Organization

This author argues that responsibilities should be collective and that individuals are not effective at getting things done. I agree that in certain circumstances a team approach is more effective, but in other instances the flexibility, creativity and accountability of individuals is more effective. Both approaches have strengths and weaknesses.

Complex tasks that require a variety of skills and viewpoints are generally better done by teams. For example, if a project required skills in marketing, computer programming and finance, it is unlikely that a single individual could execute the project effectively. For those projects, a team would be highly effective.

On the other hand, tasks that require high degrees of creativity, quick response time and intuition while also requiring tight accountability, should be done by individuals. A good example is stock trading. Traders need to act quickly and decisively to changing market conditions. Often, there is no time to call a meeting and come to a group conclusion about what to do. In addition, by having the responsibility handled by a single individual, there is a high degree of accountability since that single individual is completely responsible for his actions.

In conclusion, the statement makes an inaccurate generalization. Certain circumstances favor teamwork while others favor individual action depending on the responsibilities and duties the position requires.

Issue #6: The definition of success

The author of this statement defines success by the ability to "spend life in your own way." It is freedom to act and the ability to choose your own destiny, free from direct accountability. This is a highly attractive lifestyle to many people and makes a reasonable definition of success. However, it seems that freedom alone is not an indicator of success.

When we think of individuals who spend life in their own way, we think of great people who have earned independence and freedom through their successes. A good example is Jim Clark, who founded Silicon Graphics, Netscape and Healtheon. He is arguably the most successful entrepreneur in history and is in complete control of his life and destiny. He has the ability to create new ventures from nothing and create companies with billion-dollar capitalizations. His life, by this definition, has been a remarkable success.

However, extending the Jim Clark example reveals problems with this definition. He has had many difficulties in his personal life, and in this respect, his life has not been a success. Success is often a function of our effectiveness working within a structure, whether that be a marriage or an organization.

In addition, individuals may acquire high degrees of freedom without any accomplishments of their own merit. Many people inherit money or come into freedom through no merit of their own. Thus, freedom itself may not be an accurate indicator of success.

Perhaps the author's original statement could be qualified. Being able to "spend life in your own way" is not necessarily a definition of success, but a benefit that success often entails.

Issue # 7: Giving advice to other people

Is the best way to advise people to simply find out what it is they want and help them attain it? This is a sound policy to helping people and should always be the concern when offering assistance. Make sure that you are indeed helping the person rather than applying your misconception of what that person wants. This approach is usually valid unless the person does not know what is best for him or herself.

The main problem with giving advice to other people is that you may confuse what is good for yourself and apply it to that individual. The person you are trying to help, however, may be in a situation you do not understand. The best way to help that person is to first find out what that person wants.

However, the author's suggestion will often not apply to circumstances where the person being given advice is in no position to judge what he or she wants. For example, an adult should not always advise a child about how to get what he or she wants. In these situation, the best advice is obviously not to find out what a child wants and help him or her attain it, but to instead advise the child on what is best for him or her.

In conclusion, giving advice to people should depend on the person you are trying to help. If the person is capable of determining what is in his or her best interests, then advice should be given to help this person. Otherwise, you should be careful advising someone about what he or she want.

Issue # 8: Monetary System

This is an interesting concept for changing the world's monetary system of metal coins and printed paper into a computerized system of credits and debits. However, this system is already largely implemented. The final step would be to create digital cash cards.

Much of the world's wealth is already tracked digitally. Every day, trillions of dollars are shifted digitally around the world. This argument is somewhat confused insofar as it poses its argument as if wealth and monetary transactions have not already been digitized.

The last step in implementing digital monetary transactions are smart cards that contain a chip that links to an account. This would act as a credit card for small transactions. This would provide a wonderful convenience and from a symbolic point, as it would ultimately mean that cash would be unnecessary.

However, I believe that technology should never be implemented for technology's sake. Old fashioned cash and coins have great convenient value. If I want to pay my nephew to mow my lawn, I can't pay him in a digital manner. Can I tip a coat check girl with a digital card? Indeed, under close inspection, it becomes apparent that coins and money have been around thousands of years and should remain for thousands more.

Changing all money to a digital format is inconvenient and represents technology for technology's sake. Cash and coins are highly convenient and do not need to be replaced by an inconvenient and impractical solution.

Issue #9: Personal Lives of Employees

Should employees leave their personal lives entirely behind them when they enter the workplace, as the author suggests here? While it is true that employees should not allow their personal lives to interfere with their jobs, the author fails to consider that personal issues can help foster a workplace atmosphere that helps everyone do a better job.

Bringing in personal interests and activities can help build collegiality among workers. Discussing personal activities helps to establish a rapport with co-workers. Company-sponsored social activities help to produce greater cohesiveness in an organization by allowing relationships to develop among workers.

However, employees should be aware that personal lives could intrude on job performance. At worst, personal lives could become a distraction to work performance. Romantic relationships between coworkers could create sexual harassment liability and also need to be kept confidential. Another problem with interjecting personal lives into work is that employees who do not share their personal lives could be viewed as aloof and may be resented by coworkers who perceive them as arrogant, unfriendly or uncooperative. Thus, interjecting personal lives into work presents risks.

In the final analysis, employees should strike a careful balance when they mix their personal lives with their jobs. Although there are some circumstances in which bringing one's personal life to the job may be counterproductive, for many reasons it is a good idea to inject small doses of personal life into the workplace.

Issue # 10: Process vs. Product

The passage states that "in an enterprise, the process of doing something is more important than the final product itself." I wholeheartedly agree with this statement. The process of doing something, if handled properly will insure the final product. In this way, the process is what makes the final product.

The quality of the process will insure the quality of the results. For example, if a company is processing its tax returns, then it must assure the legitimacy of the processes of calculating those results. Were qualified accountants used? Were they given the proper accounting process? What is important is not the final return but the process that leads to the final tax calculation.

In addition, in research the process is often more valuable than the final results. For example, at Bell Labs in the 1940s, several scientists were trying to develop transistor technology that could be demonstrable. Instead, while developing the transistor the scientists stumbled upon a design that laid the groundwork for the microchip. The process of research led to a radical new design that was highly cost effective.

Finally, there is an ennobling element to the process associated with any great accomplishment, whether it be winning World War II, building the Hoover Dam, or the Wright brothers development of motorized flight. In each case, the value of an accomplishment becomes especially sweet in light of the sacrifices required to make it. When we collectively reflect on these accomplishments, we cannot help dwell on the courage required in the processes to make the final accomplishment.

In conclusion, the process of doing something often is more critical and important than the final product. It is the effort and brilliance in the process that itself produces the result.

You have finished the E-rater guide!

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We've graded tens of thousands of essays, and certain errors occur again and again and again. This is a list of the top ten errors that we see on essays.

10. The "kitchen sink" argument
This argument throws in everything and discusses every topic of an issue in one paragraph. Paragraphs are discrete units meant for discussing a limited range of ideas. Narrow the scope of your paragraphs and arguments into manageable, topic-specific units. On a larger level, limit the scope of your essays. On issue questions, especially, it is not an opportunity to expound on your entire worldview.

9. The "Microsoft Example"
Try to use interesting examples other than the usual Microsoft example. Too many writers cite Microsoft as a way to prove a point. It makes for a trite essay, and is tedious for graders to read. Another overused example is the "U.S. has low unemployment" example for macroeconomic policy. Be more creative. Essay graders have boring jobs and appreciate new twists. Still another example that is less-than-popular with graders is the hypothetical example. Using hypothetical examples make a writer seem unintelligent or uneducated, because he or she should be able to come up with a real world example instead of making one up.

8. Using casual language "really" "like" "u" "r"
Don't write as if you are sending an email or use casual phrases. Along this line of being too casual is the example that is way to personal and casual. Any sordid details of your life not be introduced into your AWA essay.

7. Not leaving time to proofread at the end.
Always leave a few minutes to re-read your essay for typos and errors at the end. Cleaning up any careless spelling or grammar errors puts the finishing touches on your essay, and can make a real difference in your writing.

6. Attacking the Analysis of Issue as an Analysis of Argument.
As you'll read in the Guide, they require entirely different approaches. Do not attempt to answer one in the method meant for the other.

5. Rambling
Write in a concise manner that summarizes your points and provides good examples. A paragraph with 12 sentences is too long.

4. Introducing new arguments in the conclusion
The introduction and conclusion are for summarizing your argument, not for bringing in examples. The body paragraphs should be full of compelling examples. Students commonly introduce new arguments in the conclusion when the conclusion should be used for restating their arguments. State any new arguments in an extra body paragraph before the conclusion.

We have a three-way tie for #1 Most Common Error:

1. The Weak Conclusion
The conclusion should wrap up your argument. Writing the AWA essay is like running a mile race. You can't sprint a mile; you have to pace yourself or you'll pass out at the end. AWA writers often "pass out" at the end and paste on a conclusion that is one sentence long. The conclusion must summarize your points effectively and restate your argument well. Your essay will not receive a high score if you do not tie everything together effectively at the end.


1. Leaving the Reader in Suspense
The intro should state your position and lay out a structure for your argument. You must not only say what your opinion is but also why you have it. Many writers do not layout their arguments in their intros, leaving the reader in unnecessary suspense. Use the intro to distill your arguments into three concise sentences. One trick to solve this is to write the introduction after you have written everything else. That way you'll know exactly what points are made in your essay and be able to outline them briefly and clearly in your intro.

A vague intro either: hopelessly pretentious (I don't deign to tell you everything upfront because my ideas are of great import), clueless (I am making up this essay as I go along so of course I can't tell you much in the intro) or both.


1. Oops! Forgot the Example
Anchor your body paragraphs to your main thesis by using compelling examples. Provide clever examples for your points to illustrate them. Do not use hypothetical examples. Be concrete. Everything you say must be backed up by real world evidence.

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