Approximately 56 pages long. |
Chapter 1: AWA Introduction |
The good news is that the AWA can be beaten. The essay topics are available for you to review beforehand. The structures for the AWA answers are simple and may be learned. In addition, while much GMAT preparation may appear "useless" and without any merit beyond test day, the skills, reasoning tools, and techniques you learn for the AWA may be applied to any essay or persuasive writing. These skills will help you throughout business school and beyond.
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Chapter 2 - Section 1: Analysis of Issue |
The Analysis of Issue question asks you to discuss your opinion on an issue. You will need to write a well-balanced analysis of the issue presented by the test. The most common topics relate to general business and public policy issues. Business issues include business ethics, marketing and labor. Government issues include regulatory and social welfare issues.
A question stem might look like this:
Evaluate the Argument Pick out flaws in the argument by identifying its weaknesses:
SAMPLE OUTLINE In the above issue for analysis, the proposition is contained in the last sentence of the stimulus; therefore, the analysis of the issue must focus on this sentence. They are trying to argue for the privatization of the postal system. Here is an outline of the basic points we will make to refute their argument. I. The proposition regarding the privatization of the post office is based on two questionable assumptions and is most likely not true:
II. Postal markets cannot be distributed in such a way that service to any given market is economical:
III. Private corporations are not necessarily more cost efficient than quasi-governmental corporations.
IV. The case for the privatization of the post office department is based on questionable assumptions. SAMPLE ESSAY Based on the outline, here is a sample essay:
Notice that this essay states two assumptions and then spends three paragraphs elaborating on the two main assumptions. The overall structure is tight (perhaps a few sentences could have been edited and paragraphs 2 and 3 condensed into one paragraph). Either way, this is a 5 or 6 essay. |
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Chapter 2 - Section 2a. Analysis of Issue: Content |
Graders of the Analysis of Issue essay expect an essay that:
How do I write a well-balanced essay? International Students: Read these American magazines as much as possible to see how Americans structure their writing and to stay updated on issues.
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Chapter 2 - Section 2b. Analysis of Issue: Timing |
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Chapter 2 - Section 2c. Analysis of Issue: Structure |
Structure is the most important part of your essay. Your essay must be written in a standard format with the standard logical transitions. The E-rater will scan your essay to identify whether it has a standard structure.
The template is just a guideline. You do not have to adhere to it. Often you will have to make changes to it to suit your argument.
Template 1) Introductory Paragraph (2-4 sentences) Keep your introductory paragraph concise, strong and effective. What the introductory paragraph should accomplish:
State your second reason (one only). Provide rationale and/or evidence to support it.
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Chapter 3 - Section 1: Analysis of Argument |
What is an argument? A strong argument tries to persuade the reader to accept a point of view. When writing an essay, be sure to include the following in your argument:
When writing an argument, is essential to both make a statement and then provide a foundation of evidence to back up this statement. What is the Analysis of Argument? Analysis of Argument questions present a short argument on an issue. You are asked to analyze the argument and discuss how well it is reasoned. You will be looking for flaws in reasoning and weak use of evidence. You will have to consider the assumptions that underlie the writer's thinking and the alternative explanations or counterexamples that might weaken his or her conclusion. It is your job to come up with evidence that would strengthen or refute the argument, or point out the changes that would make it more sound.
How does the Analysis of Argument differ from the Analysis of Issue? On Analysis of Issue questions, you are arguing grand issues such as, "Should China be in the WTO," or "Should parents have vouchers to send children to the school of their choice". Reasonable people could differ in their opinions with Analysis of Issue, but no reasonable person would absolutely support something in an Analysis of Argument. When you are working on an Analysis of Argument, look for the fallacies that exist in the reasoning as opposed to inserting your personal opinions on the topic. The people who grade the Analysis of Argument section for the GMAT expect the following:
As with Analysis of Issue, the topic sentence of each paragraph must contain the germ of the idea that permeates the entire paragraph. Each example or illustration must connect to that idea using transitional markers such as for example, furthermore, therefore, thus or moreover.
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Consider the following example:
The Stimulus In the first part of the Analysis of Argument topic, the writer tries to persuade you of his or her conclusion by referring to evidence. When you read the "arguments" in these questions, be on the lookout for assumptions and poor logical reasoning used to come to the conclusion. The Question Stem Question stems will ask you to decide how convincing you find the argument. You will be asked to explain why an argument is not convincing, and discuss improvements to the argument. For this task, you'll need to first analyze the argument itself and evaluate its use of evidence. Second, you'll need to explain how a different approach or more information would make the argument itself better (or possibly worse).
Attack the Argument Each argument's stimulus has been intentionally "loaded" with flaws or fallacies that you should acknowledge and discuss. If you fail to see the more fundamental problems in the argument, you will not get a high score. The purpose of the essay is for you to critique the reasoning in the argument. Your personal opinions are not relevant. Instead your essay needs to focus on flaws in the argument, and how the argument could be strengthened.
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Chapter 3 - Section 3b: Finding Errors |
The Usual Suspects: Common Logical Fallacies There are seven logical errors that commonly appear in the essay questions. When writing your essay argument, explicitly identify the logical flaws. These flaws also tend to occur in the critical reasoning section of the Verbal GMAT, so your preparation here will benefit you when taking that section. 1. Circular Reasoning Here, an unsubstantiated assertion is used to justify another unsubstantiated assertion, which is used to justify the first statement. For instance, Joe and Fred show up at an exclusive club. When asked if they are members, Joe says "I'll vouch for Fred." When Joe is asked for evidence that he's a member, Fred says, "I'll vouch for him." 2. The Fallacy of the Biased-Sample The Fallacy of the Biased Sample is committed whenever the data for a statistical inference is drawn from a sample that is not representative of the population under consideration. The data used to make a generalization is drawn from a group that does not represent the whole. The following argument commits the fallacy of the Biased Sample : ln a recent survey conducted by Wall Street Weekly, 80% of the respondents indicated their strong disapproval of increased capital gains taxes. This survey clearly shows that increased capital gains taxes will meet with strong opposition from the electorate. The data for the inference in this argument is drawn from a sample that is not representative of the entire electorate. Since the survey was conducted on people who invest, not all members of the electorate have an equal chance of being included in the sample. Moreover, people who read about investing are more likely to have an opinion on the topic of taxes on investments that differs from the opinion of the population at large. The Fallacy of the Insufficient Sample is committed whenever an inadequate sample is used to justify the conclusion drawn. I have worked with three people from New York City and found them to be obnoxious, pushy and rude. It is obvious that people from New York City have a bad attitude. The data for the inference in this argument are insufficient to support the conclusion. Three observations of three people are not sufficient to support a conclusion about the entire population of a city. 4. Ad hominem One of the most often-employed fallacies, ad hominen means "to the man" and indicates an attack made on a person rather than on the statements that person has made. An example is: "Don't listen to my opponent, he's a homosexual." 5. Fallacy of Faulty Analogy Reasoning by analogy makes an unsubstantiated assumption when comparing two similar things. The fallacy of faulty analogy assumes that since two things are alike in many ways, they will share other traits in common. Faulty Analogy arguments conclude that one similarity results in another, when in fact, there can be no way of inferring this extra similarity. The following is an example of a fallacy of Faulty Analog: Ted and Jim excel at both football and basketball. Since Ted is also a track star, Jim likely also excels at track. In this example, numerous similarities between Ted and Jim are taken as the basis for the inference that they share additional traits. 6. Straw Man Here, the speaker attributes an argument to an opponent, and that argument does not represent the opponent's true position. For instance, a political candidate might charge that his opponent "wants to let all prisoners go free," when in fact his opponent simply favors a highly limited furlough system. The person is portrayed as someone they are not. 7. The "After This, Therefore, Because of This" Fallacy (Post hoc ergo propter hoc) This is a "false cause" fallacy in which something is associated with something else because of mere proximity of time. One often encounters, such as - in news stories, people assuming that because one thing happened after another, the first caused it, as with "I touched a toad; I have a wart; the toad caused the wart." The error in the arguments that commit this fallacy is that their conclusions are simply claims and are insufficiently substantiated by the evidence. Here are two examples of the After This, Therefore Because of This Fallacy: Ten minutes after walking into the auditorium, I began to feel sick to The stock market declined shortly after the election of the president, In the first example, a causal connection is posited between two events simply on the basis of one occurring before the other. Without further evidence to support it, the causal claim based on the correlation is premature. The second example is typical of modern news reporting. The only evidence offered in this argument to support the implicit causal claim that the decline in the stock market was caused by the election of the president is that the election preceded the decline. While this may have been a causal factor in the decline of the stock market, to argue that it is the main cause without additional information is to commit the After This, Therefore, Because of This Fallacy.
This is the so-called black-or-white fallacy. Essentially, it says "Either you believe what I'm saying or you must believe exactly the opposite." Here is an example of the black-or-white fallacy: Since you don't believe that the earth is teetering on the edge of destruction, you must believe that pollution and other adverse effects that man has on the environment are of no concern whatsoever. The argument above assumes that only two possible alternatives are open to us. There is no room for a middle ground. 9. The "All Things are Equal" Fallacy This fallacy is committed when background conditions are assumed, without justification, to have remained the same at different times/locations. In most instances, this is an unwarranted assumption for the simple reason that things rarely remain the same over extended periods, and things rarely remain the same from place to place. The last Democratic Party winner of the New Hampshire primary won the general election. This year, the winner of the New Hampshire primary will win the general election. The assumption operative in this argument is that nothing has changed since the last primary. No evidence or justification is offered for this assumption. 10. The Fallacy of Equivocation The Fallacy of Equivocation occurs when a word or phrase with more than one meaning is employed in different meanings throughout the argument.
In this example, the word repression is used in two completely different contexts. "Repression" in Freud's mind meant restricting sexual and psychological desires. "Repression" in the second context does not mean repression of individual desires, but government restriction of individual liberties, such as in a totalitarian state. 11. Non Sequitur This means "does not follow," which is short for: the conclusion does not follow from the premise. To say, "The house is white; therefore, it must be big" is an example. It may be a big house but there is no intrinsic connection with its being white. 12. Argument ad populum A group of kindergartners are studying a frog, trying to determine its sex. "I wonder if it's a boy frog or a girl frog," says one student. "I know how we can tell!" pipes up another. "All right, how?" asks the teacher, resigned to the worst. Beams the child: "We can vote."
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Chapter 3 - Section 3c: Template |
ESSAY STRUCTURE Introductory Paragraph (2-4 sentences)
The following is a sample template for the first paragraph that accomplishes these goals: First Body Paragraph (3-5 sentences)
The following is a sample template for this paragraph that accomplishes this goal: First of all, ____________________________ is based upon the questionable assumption ________________________________. That _______________, Second Body Paragraph (3-4 sentences) The purpose of the second paragraph is to address one of the following:
Third (and optional Fourth) Body Paragraph In this paragraph your goal is to critique one of the following:
Here's a sample template for this paragraph that accomplishes this goal:
Final Paragraph (2-3 sentences) In the final paragraph your goals are to:
The final paragraph is not the place to introduce new arguments or issues. Sample template: In sum, I agree that______________________. However, ____________________; on balance, _____________________. Note: The transitional phrases used here are purposely simplistic; do not simply "parrot" them word-for-word in your essay or adopt a fill-in the blank approach. If you do, your essay might appear stilted or contrived.
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Chapter 3 - Section 3d: Timing |
How to write a 300-word essay in 30 minutes Using time appropriately is extremely important when writing essays on the GMAT. You must use your time wisely. Do not dive right in. If you begin writing immediately you will likely find it difficult to follow your critique all the way through without making mistakes in organization. Instead, take time to think about what you will be writing and create an outline first.
The problem of poorly trained police officers that has plagued New York City should become less serious in the future. The City has initiated comprehensive guidelines that oblige police officers in multiculturalism and proper ways to deal with the city's ethnic groups. Explain how logically persuasive you find this argument. In discussing your viewpoint, analyze the argument's line of reasoning and its use of evidence. Also explain what, if anything, would make the argument more valid and convincing or help you to better evaluate its conclusion. Step 1: Dissect the issue/argument (2 minutes) What is the topic and scope of the argument? Scope: a given solution, centering on mandatory classes The argument's conclusion? The problem of poorly trained police officers that has plagued New York City should become less serious in the future.
What's the evidence? The City has initiated comprehensive guidelines that oblige police officers in multiculturalism and proper ways to deal with the city's ethnic groups. Arguments typically will be structured in one of two ways:
Summarize the argument: The problem of poor police officers will become less serious (conclusion) multiculturalism training (evidence) How does the argument use its evidence? It uses evidence of multiculturalism training as evidence to conclude that future improvement is likely. Step 2: Select the points you will make (5 minutes) Does the argument make any assumptions? That is, are there gaps between evidence and conclusion?
PART 2: Writing the essay a. State a clear thesis for the essay.
Step 4: Type your essay (20 minutes) Write your paragraphs in the essay with great care.
Make sure your "key" words, transitional phrases, major points, examples, are properly spelled so that the E-rater may identify them properly and know that you have a well written essay. |
Chapter 4 : About the E-rater |
W The E-rater is "bot", or a distant cousin of search engine spiders used to analyze and read web pages. The E-rater will read your essays and look for phrases that indicate competent reasoning. The E-rater uses a stored battery of hundreds of graded essays for each of the 280 essay questions (this is partly why GMAT essays haven't changed in years, to do so would require re-programming the E-rater). The E-rater has sample 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, and 6 score essays for each topic. The E-rater will evaluate your essay in terms of the stored essays in its database. If the essay you wrote resembles the stored "6" essays in the E-rater's database, you will get that score. If your essay better resembles the "5's" in the database, you will get a "5" from the E-rater. That is why it is so important to read the 20 sample essays we have. You will see how well written arguments are structured and you will learn the proper style necessary to impress both the E-rater and the human grader. What the E-rater doesn't grade The E-rater cannot detect certain things, such as humor, spelling errors or grammar. It analyzes structure through the use of transitional phrases, paragraph changes, etc. It evaluates content by comparing your score to that of other students. If you have a brilliant argument that uses an unusual argument style, the E-rater will not detect this style. The E-rater does, however, detect spelling and grammar indirectly. If your transition phrases and logical identifiers (e.g.- "therefore", "for example") are not properly spelled, the E-rater will not detect them. Since the E-rater uses the presence of such transitional phrases as an indicator of effective writing, you are indirectly penalized if they are not spelled correctly.
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Chapter 4 - Section 4a: Using Strategy |
Does the E-rater impact human graders? The E-rater potentially puts pressure on human graders. Human graders will create problems if they constantly disagree with the E-rater and force a third, additional grader to look over the essay (this raises costs). In this way, the E-rater acts as a managerial tool to double-check graders and keep them in line. The bottom line: don't rely on your essay being appealing to the human grader. There is no guarantee that the grader will give you a high grade to counter a low E-rater grade. Try to follow the E-rater rules. What are the implications for the GMAT student? You should not try any bold or original approaches in your essay. The essay should be written in a simple and organized fashion. If you write a boldly original piece, do not rely on the human grader to acknowledge the quality of your writing. This may not be the place to expound upon how your master's thesis ties in with your GMAT essay. On the Argument Essay: The E-rater makes more sense on the Argument Essay because it is able to tell whether you have identified the argument's logical flaw. The E-rater stores hundreds of essays for each essay question and you should use keywords that correspond the stored "6" essays. When you have identified the logical flaws in the essay questions, (use our "usual suspects" section to identify logical flaws), make sure to describe the logical flaws. This way the E-rater can detect that you have identified the correct logical flaws.
Errors that will ruin your score with the E-rater (DO NOT): 1. Write an essay in a unique and creative fashion. The E-rater will be evaluating you relative to other writers, so a unique argument structure will not appear standard and will always backfire. 2. Misspell key phrases, such as "for example" and "therefore". The E-rater will not pick up the spelling errors and will assume that you did not use transition phrases. 3. Throw in jokes and other unnecessary commentary. The E-rater will not detect the meaning behind your writing, only its structure, so making clever comments will not raise your score. 4. Use unusual references that no other business school student would use. The E-rater uses other scorers as a template based on how well you resemble other scorers. On the Analysis of Issue question, if you do use unusual examples, also use concept keywords and a tight structure. 6. Use a unique and clever rhetorical device that spices up your essay. The E-rater cannot detect cleverness and may find an essay like this confusing, redundant or disorganized. 7. Follow Steve Jobs' clever advertising campaign for Apple "Think Different". For the AWA it is "Think the Same". You want to write as "6" scorers write. The Analysis of Issue section, in particular, is an exercise in conformity. Write opinions in the mainstream of intellectual thought. You may have compelling evidence about the role of UFO's in our daily lives, but your GMAT essay is not the place to introduce this startling news to the world.
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The Usual Suspects: Common Logical Fallacies There are seven logical errors that appear commonly in the essay questions. When writing your essay argument you should explicitly identify the logical flaw. These flaws also tend to occur in the critical reasoning section of the Verbal GMAT, so your preparation here will benefit you when taking the Verbal section. 1. Circular Reasoning Here, an unsubstantiated assertion is used to justify another unsubstantiated assertion, which is used to justify the first statement. For instance, Joe and Fred show up at an exclusive club. When asked if they are members, Joe says "I'll vouch for Fred." When Joe is asked for evidence that he's a member, Fred says, "I'll vouch for him." 2. The Biased-Sample Fallacy The Fallacy of the Biased Sample is committed whenever the data for a statistical inference is drawn from a sample that is not representative of the population under consideration. The data drawn and used to make a generalization is drawn from a group that does not represent the whole. Here is an argument that commits the fallacy of the biased sample: ln a recent survey conducted by Wall Street Weekly, 80% of the respondents indicated their strong disapproval of increased capital gains taxes. This survey clearly shows that increased capital gains taxes will meet with strong opposition from the electorate. The data for the inference in this argument is drawn from a sample that is not representative of the entire electorate. Since the survey was conducted of people who invest, not all members of the electorate have an equal chance of being included in the sample. Moreover, persons who read about investing are more likely to have an opinion on the topic of taxes on investment that is different from the population at large. The Fallacy of the Insufficient Sample is committed whenever an inadequate sample is used to justify the conclusion drawn. I have worked with 3 people from New York City and found them to be obnoxious, pushy and rude. It is obvious that people from New York City have a bad attitude. The data for the inference in this argument is insufficient to support the conclusion. Three observations of people are not sufficient to support a conclusion about the entire population of a city. 4. Ad hominem One of the most often-employed fallacies, ad hominen means "to the man" and indicates an attack that is made upon a person rather than upon the statements that person has made. An example is: "Don't listen to my opponent, he's a homosexual." 5. Fallacy of Faulty Analogy Reasoning by analogy functions by making an unsubstantiated assumption when comparing two similar things. The fallacy assumes that since two things are alike in many ways, they will share another trait as well. Faulty Analogy arguments conclude that one similarity results in another, when in fact, there can be no way of inferring this extra similarity. Here's an example of a Faulty Analogy fallacy: Ted and Jim excel at both football and basketball. Since Ted is also a track star, it is likely that Jim also excels at track. In this example, numerous similarities between Ted and Jim are taken as the basis for the inference that they share additional traits. 6. Straw Man Here the speaker attributes an argument to an opponent that does not represent the opponent's true position. For instance, a political candidate might charge that his opponent "wants to let all prisoners go free," when in fact his opponent simply favors a highly limited furlough system. The person is portrayed as someone that they are not. 7. The "After This, Therefore, Because of This" Fallacy (Post hoc ergo propter hoc) This is a "false cause" fallacy in which something is associated with something else because of mere proximity of time. One often encounters - in news stories- people assuming that because one thing happened after another, the first caused it, as with "I touched a toad; I have a wart; the toad caused the wart." The error in arguments that commit this fallacy is that their conclusions are simply claims and are not sufficiently substantiated by the evidence. Here are two examples of the After This, Therefore Because of This Fallacy: Ten minutes after walking into the auditorium, I began to feel sick to The stock market declined shortly after the election of the president, In the first example, a causal connection is posited between two events simply on the basis of one occurring before the other. Without further evidence to support it, the causal claim based on the correlation is premature. The second example is typical of modern news reporting. The only evidence offered in this argument to support the implicit causal claim that the decline in the stock market was caused by the election of the president is the fact that election preceded the decline. While this may have been a causal factor in the decline of the stock market, to argue that it is the main cause without additional information is to commit the After This, Therefore, Because of This Fallacy.
This is the so-called black-or-white fallacy. Essentially, it says "Either you believe what I'm saying or you must believe exactly the opposite." Here is an example of the black-or-white fallacy: Since you don't believe that the earth is teetering on the edge of destruction, you must believe that pollution and other adverse effects that man has on the environment are of no concern whatsoever. The argument above assumes that there are only two possible alternatives open to us. There is no room for a middle ground. 9. The "All Things are Equal" Fallacy This fallacy is committed when it is assumed, without justification, that background conditions have remained the same at different times/locations. In most instances, this is an unwarranted assumption for the simple reason that things rarely remain the same over extended periods of time, and things rarely remain the same from place to place. The last Democrat winner of the New Hampshire primary won the general election. This year, the winner of the New Hampshire primary will win the general election. The assumption operative in this argument is that nothing has changed since the last primary. No evidence or justification is offered for this assumption. 10. The Fallacy of Equivocation The Fallacy of Equivocation occurs when a word or phrase that has more than one meaning is employed in different meanings throughout the argument.
In this example, the word repression is used in two completely different contexts. "Repression" in Freud's mind meant restricting sexual and psychological desires. "Repression" in the second context does not mean repression of individual desires, but government restriction of individual liberties, such as that in a totalitarian state. 11. Non Sequitur This means "does not follow," which is short for: the conclusion does not follow from the premise. To say, "The house is white; therefore it must be big" is an example. It may be a big house but there is no intrinsic connection with its being white. 12. Argument ad populum A group of kindergartners are studying a frog, trying to determine its sex. "I wonder if it's a boy frog or a girl frog," says one student. "I know how we can tell!" pipes up another. "All right, how?" asks the teacher, resigned to the worst. Beams the child: "We can vote."
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Chapter 5: Crash Course in Effective Writing |
Once you have mastered the material in the previous chapters and have an overall idea of what you want to say in your essay, you can focus on the best way to express it. This part of the AWA Essay Guide will help you develop the skills you need to create well-developed and well-written essays. We have divided the lessons for writing into two parts:
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Chapter 5 - Section 5a1: Eliminating Fill Sentences |
Streamline your essay by avoiding unnecessary sentences.
FILL: Who should be the next president? I think Mike Dukakis should give it another try. TO THE POINT: Mike Dukakis should make a second bid for the presidency.
Condense the two-sentence groups into one, direct sentence. 1. Who was Abraham Lincoln? He was a President of the United States.
1. Abraham Lincoln was President of the United States. 2. General Patton was famous for his ability to surprise the enemy. 3. Many buildings were destroyed by the twister that destroyed three city blocks.
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Chapter 5 - Section 5a2: Be Concise |
Directness and clarity are valued over wordiness on the GMAT. Do not use several words when one will work just as well. Many writers tend to add excessive phrases like "take into consideration" in order to sound scholarly. This only makes the text sound inflated and perhaps pretentious. WORDY: I am of the opinion that the said managers should be admonished for their utilization of customer response services. CONCISE: We should tell the managers to improve customer service.
Shorten the sentences below to make them as concise as possible. (see answers) 1. This internet company is not prepared to expand at this point in time.
3. The airline has a problem with always having arrivals that come at least an hour late, despite the fact that the leaders of the airline promise that promptness is a goal that has a high priority for all the employees involved.
1. The internet company is not prepared to expand now. 2. Since Roger has worked for this site so carefully, we should award him the contract. 3. Flights are always at least an hour late on this airline, though its leaders promise that promptness is a high priority for all its employees. 4. Although she is inexperienced in photography, she will probably succeed because she is motivated. 5. The United States cannot spend more money to alleviate other countries' suffering when its own citizens suffer.
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Chapter 5 - Section 5a3: Qualification |
What is a qualifier?
WORDY: The Hess spy case was a rather serious breach of national security and likely helped the Soviets. CONCISE: The Hess spy case breached national security and helped the Soviets. Clear up the following sentences by eliminating excessive qualifiers. 1. You yourself are the very best person to decide what you should do for a living.
2. It is possible that the author overstates his case somewhat.
3. The president perhaps should use a certain amount of diplomacy before he resorts to force.
4. In Italy, I found about the best food I have ever eaten.
5. Needless to say, children should be taught to cooperate at home and in school.
Answers: 1. You are the best person to decide what you should do for a living. 2. The author overstates his case somewhat. 3. The president should use diplomacy before he resorts to force. 4. In Italy I found the best food I have ever eaten. 5. Children should be taught to cooperate at home and in school.
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Chapter 5 - Section 5a4: Start Strong |
Try not to begin a sentence with This, Here is, There is, There are, or It is. These roundabout expressions indicate distance from your position and make your statement less definitive. Weak openings usually result from writing before you think- hedging until you find out what you want to say.
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Chapter 5 - Section 5a5: Active and Passive Voice |
Passive vs. Active ACTIVE: Joe completed the assignment in record time. Active voice is the preferred essay writing style for the GMAT. If possible, you should always use the active voice, since it is more direct and shows action and intent. Statements made in the passive voice are weak because it is difficult to tell who or what is responsible for an action. The passive voice does have value under certain circumstances. For instance, if you want to express something without assigning blame or if there is a question of responsibility. For example: "collateral damage has taken place". The sentence blames no one and does not assign who actually did it.
Both the E-rater and the human grader can detect the passive voice and using it will lower your score. Admissions officers also frown on the passive voice.
1. Garbage collectors should be generously rewarded for their dirty, smelly labors.
3. The minutes of the City Council meeting should be taken by the city clerk.
4. With sugar, water, or salt, many ailments contracted in less developed countries could be treated.
Answers: 1. Incorrect: Garbage collectors should be generously rewarded for their dirty, smelly labors. Correct: City government should generously reward garbage collectors for their dirty, smelly labors.
Correct: Negotiators ironed out the conditions of the contract agreement minutes before the strike deadline. 3. Incorrect: The minutes of the City Council meeting should be taken by the city clerk. Correct: The city clerk should take the minutes of the City Council meeting.
Correct: With sugar, water, or salt, doctors can treat many of the ailments that citizens of less developed countries contract.
Correct: A number of field anthropologists and marriage experts compiled the report.
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Chapter 5 - Section 5a(6): Self-Reference |
Essay writers should avoid unnecessary phrases such as "I believe," "I feel," and "in my opinion." The grader knows whose opinion is being expressed and he or she does not need to be reminded. WEAK: I am of the opinion that excessive self-reference may add a level of pomposity to an otherwise effective essay. Self-reference, like qualification, is effective when used sparingly. Exercise: Restructure these sentences to remove the self-reference. 1. I must emphasize that I am not saying the author does not have a point.
1. The author has a point. 2. College presidents should implement several specific reforms to combat apathy. 3. Either alternative would prove disastrous.
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Chapter 5 - Section 5a(7): Redundancy |
Redundancy is the unnecessary repetition of an idea. For example, saying "a beginner lacking experience" is redundant. The word beginner implies lack of experience. You can eliminate redundant words or phrases without changing the meaning of the sentence. Watch out for words that add nothing to the sense of the sentence, because redundancy takes away from the clarity and conviction of a statement. Here are some common redundancies:
Redundancy often results from carelessness, but you can easily eliminate redundant elements when proofreading. 1. Those who can follow directions are few in number.
2. She has deliberately chosen to change careers.
1. Few people can follow directions. 2. She has chosen to change careers. 3. Dialogue opens many doors to compromise. 4. The conclusion is that environmental and economic concerns are intertwined.
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| Chapter 5 - Section 5a(8): Vague Writing |
Choose specific, descriptive words when you are making any statement on the GMAT. Vague language weakens your writing because it forces the reader to guess what you mean instead of concentrating fully on your ideas and style. WEAK: Mr. Brown is highly educated. WEAK: She is a great communicator. Notice that sometimes to be more specific and concrete, you will have to use more words than you may otherwise with vague language (as in the first example). This principle is not in conflict with the general objective of writing concisely. Being concise may mean eliminating unnecessary words. Avoiding vagueness may mean adding necessary words to illustrate your point. Edit these sentences by reducing the vague language:
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